Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do 1234.

Suzie: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to sharing my truth. Here we are in London town.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: Hey, everyone, it's Mel and Susie and you're here with share my truth. And we are live coming from London in the UK, not Ontario. And we're having a fun, grand old time. And my accent's getting better every day, isn't it, Mel?

Mel: There's some work to.

Suzie: But here's a cute, friendly reminder too. So rude. Give this a podcast, a cute little five stars. Tell us why you like it and don't tell us why you hate it and go to sharingmytruth.com share your truth with us. Share your truth with us. Share my truth. Pod on the socials. Give us a like hit. Subscribe. Give us some fun.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Hey, guys. Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: I'm fab.

Suzie: Fab.

Mel: I'm in London. I'm fab.

Suzie: Flittily, flittily, flutedly flab.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: I feel like you guys just say bibbidi bop cocksmith bista boychesta. Like, what are these ******* words with all these letters in them that don't actually say anything?

Mel: Yes, this is true. Bits. Exhausting. I can't think of any, but there's tons of them.

Suzie: Literally exhausting.

Mel: There's tons of things that we say and we have many, many, many ways to say the same thing. And in different parts of the UK, it's different.

Suzie: Yeah, it's unbelievable.

Mel: So we don't even speak the same language.

Suzie: No. And everyone has a different accent. And so I try to listen to people.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Like, we were at the podcast convention.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Which is why we were pretty much here in London also. Just to have a fun, gradual time. And, you know, Mel's obviously doing a great job talking to all these other british folk. And I'm just like, standing there being like, I'm a ******* idiot.

Mel: It was quite funny, actually.

Suzie: No idea what these people are saying.

Mel: Within sort of like half an hour, we spoke to one woman who's Scottish, then somebody who's northern Irish, somebody was Welsh, somebody was northern England, somebody was southern England. And susie's just like, what the hell is.

Suzie: I can't understand these people.

Mel: Why do.

Suzie: I mean, I try.

Mel: Yeah. And then they say things very differently and they speak very fast.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: And that was talk a lot.

Suzie: That was when we first got here. So that was like, the jet lag was so real and I was like, already falling asleep.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: One of these people were speaking to me and I was like, I can't.

Mel: Listen to you anymore.

Suzie: But it was fun.

Mel: It was, it was a fun little time.

Suzie: Podcast convention.

Mel: It was. It was really good. Learned a lot of things. Learned some interesting people. Yeah, some very interesting. Very interesting people.

Suzie: Um, yeah, some life lessons and some not so life lessons.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: Well, we're getting into it today. We're talking about a very fun topic. Masturbation.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Fun.

Mel: Thank you for saying it like that. Yeah, you're welcome.

Suzie: Because it's serious.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And it's very important, and it must be said.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Not just diddling on yourself or anything fun like that. It's true. And it's important.

Mel: Diddling on yourself.

Suzie: Yeah, you know, whatever they call it. Jerking off, having a good old time.

Mel: Oh, ac. Diddling on yourself. Yes. So the thing is, what is the question then?

Suzie: Well, why do some people prefer masturbation over sex? And do they?

Mel: And if there is masturbation, why bother with sex?

Suzie: Why even bother?

Mel: Because it's bother, innit?

Suzie: Oh, it's a God darn **** it bother. You know, if I know for a fact, which I do, that if I like, if I **********, I'm gonna come, but I don't know for a fact that if I have a partner, that he's gonna make me come.

Mel: Yeah, for sure.

Suzie: It's just like, it's just like why? Why we bother?

Mel: Why do we bother? Why do we put all that work in?

Suzie: Yeah, Mel, why?

Mel: Some people don't. Some people don't. They just, I'd say in that category, there's probably more women than men that don't bother. And also probably because there's an awful lot of toys and they haven't had great experiences as men, so they just think, what's the point? Yeah, I think that's possible. I think that's probably a correct assumption of mine.

Suzie: Do you think men ********** over having sex with a woman? No.

Mel: No. Unless they can't get a woman or unless they don't have a sex doll. Yeah, but that's not because there's nothing like, apparently the feeling.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, there's just, it's not the same, is it?

Suzie: No. Your hand is never gonna be the same.

Mel: It's going into a warm cavity.

Suzie: Disgusting.

Mel: That's what it is.

Suzie: It's really unsexy. But, you know, you're right.

Mel: You're very british about it, susie.

Suzie: And we just say things as we mean them.

Mel: Yeah. What is a warm cavity? But, I mean, I don't think. I mean, I can't see how men would prefer that women. I actually can see, other than the intimacy part and the fact that, you know, obviously you want to be close to somebody and touch another person, and not just in a sexual way. So if you don't actually have sex with a human being, you are missing out. It's kind of very clinical.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But on the other hand, for a lot of women, they've had a lot of bad experiences, and if they just do it themselves, then they know the job gets done. Done. And it's quicker. It's quicker. It's very efficient. You don't have to do your hair.

Suzie: No.

Mel: You don't have to get your nails done.

Suzie: There's no foreplay, really.

Mel: You don't have to have a bath.

Suzie: I mean, like, you could. You could foreplay yourself, which is fun, but, God, yeah, you don't have to bother, really.

Mel: We also just get to the point. I mean, so I do understand why a lot of women would think that, and maybe particularly older women, they've had bad experiences. Or as we've been discussing a lot in the last week, how difficult it is to get a date and how difficult, particularly if you're an older woman, because men of your age don't want you. They want younger women. And men have the choice of younger women, women their age and older women.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Whereas women, say of my age in their forties to sort of fifties. You really can only go out with much, much older men or much, much younger men. And those are two different kind of vibes. You're not going out with an old, younger man, probably to date him. It's for fun. So maybe you just can't be bothered. You're just like, ugh, you know, I just can't be bothered. I'm just gonna go with my rabbit.

Suzie: I mean, at least, you know, it gets the job done. But then there's, I don't know, there's literally nothing like a man's touch.

Mel: Well, of course, it's the feeling of somebody. Well, obviously pleasuring, but somebody wanting you, desiring you, that psychologically is a whole thing.

Suzie: Like, of course my little **** sucker is going to do a great ******* job, but it's not the same as a man's tongue. Who wants it?

Mel: It's a machine.

Suzie: It's a machine. But, yeah, there's that thing of. That feeling of a guy going down on you and, like, wanting you.

Mel: Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.

Suzie: Like, it's like, hugely, like, I. It's definitely not the same at all.

Mel: No, it's just human being who, who's touching is taking time with you, who's being intimate with you, who's cuddling you, caressing you, whatever they're doing. Of course that's gonna be different.

Suzie: And it's also like, well, guys are so afraid. Not all guys, obviously, but there are men out there who are afraid that this is just like those sex toys are getting out of hand and that you can't have a sex toy, you know, like, because it's gonna be the takeover of, like, my *****, like, whatever they're thinking. And it's like, no, that's not how that works.

Mel: It's not how that works at all.

Suzie: Like, of course we want to come and we've talked about this before, obviously, like, it's your little partner. It's not like a *****, you know, it's not gonna, like, kiss you at night.

Mel: And I don't know if men ********** that I do know a lot of women who have issues with her husband's masturbating, which is honestly so ****** up, which I find, ladies, come on. I find strange. And you really shouldn't have. It doesn't mean anything. It's just a bodily function. Literally, it's like going to the toilet. I really wouldn't worry about it. And you're really putting too much pressure on yourself if you worry about that. So if men can do it, then why can't women? And I, you know, and then it helps when you're together and whatever, but I, there is nothing like another person. Yeah, but I do really understand if you have been hurt very badly or you cannot find somebody who is worth spending the evening with, which, let's face it, and I'm, this is for women and for men. Yeah, it's very difficult. Even when you're your age. I mean, you're going through all these hinge profiles going, you know, so it's difficult at any age, at any level of physical attraction, to find somebody who wants the same thing that you want at that same exact moment in time is very hard. So I get it. If you just sort of go, can't be bothered. So many other things in life, you know, you're working, you, you have children, you have a social life, whatever. And maybe you just think it's not worth the hassle, but, and I understand why you get to that, but I do think that is sad. So that, it's sad, isn't it?

Suzie: It is sad.

Mel: Life is about human connections. It's really important and it really helps your state, your mental health, if you have human connections, but, yeah. So from that point of view, it's sad.

Suzie: Yeah. And it just. It doesn't mean as much as you think it does. Masturbation.

Mel: No, I mean, it's just. It's a physical. It's. Well, particularly for women, I think it's a. It's kind for women. I think. I think I told you this. I said this. I read this somewhere, that for men it's release.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And for women, it's like a power sort of going into them.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Which actually makes sense because you're just invigorated. You're vroom. Yeah. And so it does that on a physical level, but it's the cannot. Having the connection with another human being doesn't do all the other stuff to you mentally, does it? Yeah. It's very good and healthy to feel wanted and desired, and that person doesn't have to be the love of your life. But if you don't have that, then you don't. You might not have a very high opinion of yourself, and maybe you should.

Suzie: Well, it's just like, how would you feel if you couldn't give yourself pleasure in any way?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You know, like. Yeah, I can't give myself a back massage, but I can rub my clay to make me feel better.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You know what I mean?

Mel: Sort of like there's.

Suzie: There's pressure points on your body.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: That is very. It's very well known. Some people are not very well known in, like, North America, I feel like. But there's, like, pressure points in your body that connect places on your back and things like that.

Mel: Like acupuncture.

Suzie: Exactly. And there's.

Mel: Connects to the certain part of your foot. Connects to your stomach and.

Suzie: Exactly. And so, like. Like, people don't really realize that they're. Or they don't think about it as much, but that their body is completely connected.

Mel: Yeah. 100%.

Suzie: And that there's these places that we have to release and put pressure on and enjoy the massage, and it'll affect everything else in your body and make you feel better.

Mel: Have you ever had acupuncture?

Suzie: No.

Mel: So I had acupuncture because I had really, really bad carpal tunnel. Do you know what that is? Yeah, after my first child. And it's very painful. Like, you literally can't move your wrists.

Suzie: Horrible.

Mel: Because it's all swollen, there's all this water, and it's pressuring, pressing on the middle. And I had this acupuncture, and you're a little bit skeptical. And I had it. It was the most unbelievable feeling. Cause literally, she put the needles in and I could feel, like, electricity.

Suzie: Wow.

Mel: And I'm not, like, a crystally weird. You know, I don't believe in a lot of things. I'm a pretty straight up person, so I wouldn't have believed it if you said it to me. But literally, like, this electricity almost moved through my body. It was like I could feel it moving out. It was very weird.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And, you know, orgasms are similar for women in that way. That's almost, like feeling better. Like, okay, I was really annoyed and frustrated, and then it moves out. It just sends you to another level.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And that's what they used to say in the old days, like, women who are hysterical and they didn't realize the connection between sexual frustration and, you know, and hence why we invaded the *****. In this country, we are the inventors. Impressive.

Suzie: This is also why I love London. You guys are such dirty, ******* amazing creatures.

Mel: We are quite a perverted people, and I'm talking about the English here, so don't anybody Scottish come for me? Although I'm partly scottish, but we are quite perverted. Yeah, I think, you know, I love a scottish man. I know you do. She loves any kind.

Suzie: I love a Scot.

Mel: So if you got a kilt and would like to come on the show, Suzie would love to see you and we would like to know. I've already told her, if you're a real Scot, you don't have anything under your kilt. But anyway, I love that. Nothing to do with masturbation or what we're talking about, but I think I do that. So what I'm saying. What I am saying, Suzy, getting my words out, is that I understand why it gets to a point where you think, I can't be bothered. There are tools out there. I'm just going to do that. Yeah. Or if you're shy, you're insecure about yourself. Because I. I have no idea about dating, but I've seen you dating. I've seen other friends going on all these apps. It just looks like a lot of work.

Suzie: It's so much work.

Mel: Terrifying. And there are a lot of extremely odd men and women out there.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: And you have to sift through all these extremely odd people to get somebody who's remotely interesting to even have a drink with. Literally take your clothes off.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So I do understand why you wouldn't want to do that or spend your very precious free time doing that. I do get it. But I but there's nothing, like human connection.

Suzie: Yeah. And, yeah, I mean. Oh, the apps are so bad. Like, I just. I don't even want. Some of the guys I'm sure are nice. It's just me. I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to have this small talk conversation because, I don't know, we don't want a relationship, but I don't want to also sleep with someone random. You know what I mean? It's just the weirdest thing. So I'm like, right now, I would. And this is different for men, but, like, I would definitely choose my vibrator over going on a date for potential sex.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You know?

Mel: Yeah. But it's funny, actually, because you're almost old fashioned in the way that you meet people. Like, I've said this to you when I was younger, you went out, you met people in the real world Irl. Do you like that? And, you know, it was very Gen XY.

Suzie: Yeah, it was rather.

Mel: But I did that for a reason. I was like, but, you know, you met people. You didn't know all this information. Yeah. You met them because there was a spark and you found them fun and interesting. You spent more time, and then as time went on, you learned more about them.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You didn't know, you know, what the size of their frigging hiking boot was, you know, before you've even had a coffee with them.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Which is really unsexy, if you think about it. There's no. It's no excitement in knowing everything. Yeah.

Suzie: Where's the mystery? And then we're also so judgmental with their looks because of the apps.

Mel: 100%. So that's the other thing. Like I'm saying to you, you do meet people in the real world, which is actually not very millennial of you.

Suzie: I know. I actually like to go out and do that.

Mel: You're like Gen x Y about it, which I find very interesting.

Suzie: Very gen xy.

Mel: You are, though. You go out into the world and meet people.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Which is what I would do if I wasn't married. And that what I did. Before you go out, you meet people, and I just think the apps do have. It's a big problem. It's just. It takes the fun, the excitement, the sexiness out of it, and it makes it, like, look like a ch. Seriously, I mean, you are interviewing some of these, like, you've shown me on hinge, and they write. They have to write a comment and put a picture. And. And even some of the guys you've showed me who've put like, kind of a nice, it's almost like a strap line. Right. They have to put about themselves. I mean, let's face it, it's pretty hard to not write something super cringey.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Everyone is so ******* cringe on the app. I'm cringe.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: It's just, it's the most exhausting thing because you're just like, I don't know what to say here. You can't give too much away.

Mel: No. And you're trying to sell yourself, which in its essence is not going to start from a good yes. Is it? And I just think I know so many people who spent so much time on apps, on the dating apps, and just like, I don't know, maybe you should just find another way.

Suzie: There definitely has to be another way. And finding them on person. But then, I mean, coming back to masturbating, it's like, I don't know. Are Cam girls still a thing? Can you ********** with another person and that's how you meet them, you know, and then you kind of know what you guys like.

Mel: Yeah. Interesting. Suzy, I thought that was, it's a.

Suzie: Good little dating app idea.

Mel: Wow. Can you just, I mean, the legality problems there. Holy ****.

Suzie: I mean, you just sign your life away.

Mel: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, but I do. I just, I think it is really, really difficult and I do truly understand why people just can't be bothered and, like, you don't have time. You're working. You work long hours. Most people work long hours. Yeah, but when are you doing this stuff?

Suzie: Literally.

Mel: And then I think the thought of thinking, oh, my God, it's Friday night. Finally got some time to myself where it's Saturday, and I have to spend 4 hours, 3 hours, 2 hours meeting somebody I've never met before, and I've already gone through this whole process of going through all these other people to find this person.

Suzie: Yeah. And then it's like, just takes the fun out of it. Takes the sexiness out of it.

Mel: Yeah, exactly. Whereas you meet somebody at a party or it's a mutual friend or you meet somebody like you're on vacation or whatever it is. Of course, it's more titillating and exciting because there's the whole, you get the flutter. You meet somebody because that's the other thing it takes out of it is that when you meet somebody that you find attractive and you get the sort of fluttery feeling, well, that's the thing that it's so exciting and you're waiting to meet the person again and all this sort of stuff. Well, how can you possibly have that on the app? So you don't have that thing. So then I completely understand why you just couldn't be bothered. I mean, I don't think I could be bothered.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: I mean, it's just, like, other things to do.

Suzie: It's like if you just had a breakup. Exactly. You have other things to do.

Mel: Like Bridgeton to watch.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: I just think to go out on a date with somebody and start that conversation all over again.

Suzie: I know. Like, here's so bad. Like, if you're in. If you're in public and you're trying to meet people, I find that people are so, like, people don't want to talk to other people outside.

Mel: Yeah. No. Well, everyone's scared.

Suzie: Everyone's so scared of people talking to them.

Mel: Everyone's scared that you're a psychopath who's going to chop you up into pieces and put you in a freezer. Yeah. Cause they've seen that in some crazy *** show. Or they think men are terrified of women because of all the crazy **** that's gone on in the last however many years.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And the whole thing is terrifying. But I get it.

Suzie: It's also, like, the only guys who have approached me in the past, like, let's say six months, have all been ******* weird.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You know, and it's on the apps. No, like, in person, in real life, any guy who will, if I'm walking down the street, if I'm walking down the street, are ******* weird. And maybe they're not, like, homeless or, like, they have. But there are just not all right there. But I'm like, when did we stop? Kind of just, like, stopping people or.

Mel: Like, I think it's fear, I think, you know, had this happened to me recently, I was with one of my daughters, and we're just coming out of the subway, and this man comes up to her. I'm standing there and goes, oh, my God, you're so beautiful. And would you like to go for a drink? And she just looks at him, goes, uh huh. And walks off. Right. And another time.

Suzie: Was he cute, though, or was he weird?

Mel: He actually was quite attractive. Tall, tall, attractive man.

Suzie: Older?

Mel: No. Oh, sort of in his twenties.

Suzie: Oh.

Mel: But it's just like, you live in a big city. You're suspicious.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: You're gonna steal something. This is a scam. You're gonna steal something. I'm standing here with my mom. This is super odd, super weird. And then you've had, I've had, well, at my age, it's always weird. Or old people who come up to you and go, oh. And say, when I've been with my daughters, and they'll say, oh, is that. This is your sister?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And my daughter's like, oh, my God. Or, you know, if your half is being a fellow to your mother.

Suzie: Yeah. So disgusting.

Mel: But they say this stuff and it just sounds. You're like. And you just want to back away. And I'm obviously not in the market for looking for a date, but if I was, it would scare the **** out of me. Yeah, I'd think you were a nutcase.

Suzie: Yeah, you might be. Yeah, you actually might be.

Mel: And then you could. And then at what point? At what point do you actually go, okay, I'm going to give it a shot and I'm gonna, like, date yours, meet you. And then you could be in a psychopath and you're stuck in a place with this person. I mean, the whole thing is terrifying.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly.

Mel: And I don't actually know what the answer to that is. Cause, I mean, there's been lots of stories of tinder where things have terrible things.

Suzie: That's what I'm saying. It's like, there's actually also, like, the apps are just as bad.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But, like, you just kind of get to wean them out a little bit more, but you still get ****** up with the. You weed the mirror.

Mel: I said this to you, that you're looking at photos, and photos can be very deceptive.

Suzie: Of course.

Mel: They can either make somebody look really good or not as good as they look in real life. And so you don't choose somebody on the basis of those two things. So you can lose the people who are really, actually great, because they're not. They don't take photos well or they haven't put that much effort, or they're nervous or whatever it is, and then you're weeding out the people who are trying too hard, who actually could be really nice people, but it's just like.

Suzie: You know, she's like, already of a turn off.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: And that's really hard to come back from.

Mel: It's very hard to come back from. Hence why I think people are just like, I can't be bothered.

Suzie: Can't be bothered. Let's ********** instead.

Mel: Exactly. And I won't get pregnant.

Suzie: Oh, thank. Or an STD.

Mel: So there are some compelling benefits. Yeah. Anyway, that's what I have to say on the screen.

Suzie: I love that. Well, if you guys have a thought about this because it is kind of an interesting conversation because no one's meeting anymore, so no one's meeting real people anymore. So people are masturbating way more than they ever have before. So if you had don't yet **********, you probably should find out what you like and then you can meet someone in real life iRl. Thank you. Alright guys, well go to sharematchube.com. you guys can send us a little voicemail, send us a little email, snail mail, whatever you guys want. Share my truth pod. You can send us a DM, go to YouTube, subscribe, hit subscribe on this little podcast because we love you. Give us a little five stars.

Mel: See you next time. Bye.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com dot to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.