Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: 1, 2, 3, 4,

and hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie. We are so excited to be joined by you guys today. It don't forget to subscribe to this podcast.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: Darling, how are you?

Mel: I'm Tyler. I'm in the frozen north, but thankfully the polar vortex has left us.

Suzie: Oh, my God. I'm not excited to be coming back right now. Mel and I are in separate places, which is extremely upsetting.

We usually see each other every single week, so. It's been such a long time since I've seen you, babe. It's been like four weeks.

Mel: Yeah, it's been a while. I know.

Suzie: And I miss you a lot, even though I am. I wish you were coming here instead of me going back there because here is very hot.

Mel: I know. I get it. It's. It's. Yeah. I have nothing to say. It's ****.

Suzie: Yeah. I got really burnt yesterday and, like, my. My chesticles and my testicles are not doing well.

Mel: So I know I've already told you off about this because when you get to my old age, you're gonna have a burnt check and it's not good. It gives you wrinkles.

Everyone out there get SPF 50 on. It gives you wrinkles. Don't do it.

Suzie: I already have wrinkles and it's really gross.

Mel: And you'll have patches too, and then you'll have to get them lasered off. And it costs lots of money, so don't do that.

Suzie: Hopefully I'll have a nice sugar daddy by then and I'll use his Anyways. Mel, what are we chatting about today?

Mel: Well, we're chatting about,

bizarrely, a subject I don't think we've spoken about, which I think is kind of strange, is what people hide from their spouse, their spouses or their partners.

Like. Like,

it's just so many things. Like, we all think, oh, it's just money, or that you've spent or, you know, affairs or whatever.

But there are so many ridiculous things. People hide and they hide like before when they start and they continue hiding.

And what is so interesting to me is if this stuff was found out. That's it. Your relationship is. **** it, you know, it's done and dusted. And there are so many things that people hide.

Apparently they are not truthful. And this is a place for sharing truths. And that's why I think we should bring it up.

Suzie: Well, it is funny, like. Cause little white lies we all tell in relationships, do we not? You have to, of course. You don't want to hurt the other person's feelings for no reason and you want to keep it.

Kind of like if it's not important to tell,

then you don't say anything.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You got to hide it. But you know, to your point, there's some things that would ruin relationships if it would just come out.

Mel: Yeah, there's honesty and there's honesty. You know, I mean,

there really is. There are levels of it. I mean, look, like we don't have to, you know, talk about how much that handbag cost all the time. Do we really?

Suzie: Or.

Mel: Or whatever.

I don't. I just. I think, yeah. I mean, it's the big things. It's. It's like I always say this. It's the big things. It's the same with compromise in a relationship.

Compromise on the little things, not the big things that are life changing. It's the same, you know, you shouldn't be lying. And also, it's exhausting.

You can't remember what you've lied about. No,

it's one thing.

And people lie about all sorts of ****. They lie about, like, women, I find this so funny. Who will lie to their husbands like they haven't had Botox or they haven't had, you know, a **** job or they haven't had this.

And I'm like, are these men stupid? Are they blind?

Suzie: No, but they are. They are kind of stupid. Like, I've seen men literally being like, oh, my God, this girl's so hot. And like, I see the photo or something and I'm like, that girl has a filter on.

A filter on. Like, are you seriously not computing that? This, this is not how this person looks. But like, no shame in the game, girls. But I'm like, men, step up your *******.

Like, you guys have to be aware of such things, you know,

Step up your *******.

Mel: What does that even mean? What does it mean?

Suzie: It means just like, step it up.

Mel: Step. Oh. Oh.

But like, women who'll lie about, you know, silly things like hair extensions or eyelashes, and men actually think it's their hair and their,

you know,

lashes and so you Know, then they have to go through this whole rigmarole of kind of getting undressed or whatever in a different place. I mean, just bizarre, isn't it?

Suzie: Well, yeah. Have you seen the beginning, like, of that really funny show, like, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Did you watch it?

Mel: Yeah. This is such a good show. But she wakes up.

Suzie: Yes. So she, like, goes to bed really ugly. And then, like. Like before her husband, like when her husband's asleep. And then, like, wakes up even before him, makes herself perfect before he even wakes up.

And he still cheats on her.

Mel: Right, right, right. So he never sees her in her natural state. Yes, Kind of. With her curlers in with the face mask on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. Yeah. I have seen.

I haven't seen the show, but I have seen that clip. But it's like. It's just we do these stupid things.

Suzie: For hiding stuff where it's like, we don't have to do that. We shouldn't have to do that.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think people hide lots of things, like. Yeah, like that. And that's just pointless. I mean, you can't be with somebody for decades and, like, not go to the toilet in front of them or not fart in front of them or them not.

See. I mean, come on, you know, um. But.

But I understand at the beginning you want to be, you know, a bit of mystery. And then you say, no, I don't.

Suzie: Know what you're talking about. I don't fart.

Mel: You don't fart?

Suzie: No, I don't.

Mel: You probably don't, actually.

I know you are. I know you are.

But I think there are obviously things that, you know, big things that people lie about, obviously. Affairs that we've talked about many times,

what they're doing, who they're seeing,

and they hide that. And then there are layers and layers and layers of things that they're hiding.

And then there's money. And a lot of people lie about money and what they're spending. And actually, it's a question. I get a lot from people about money and how you deal with that in a relationship.

Maybe we should do a pod about that. But people hide, like, the debt they're in while they're in the ****** relationship.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Like.

Mel: Like. Like what?

You know, or the money they're spending or.

Yeah, and obviously that has really serious ramifications. That's not, you know, that's not something you should be hiding, is it?

Suzie: No. I mean. And people hide who they've slept with, even if it's like, not like they've cheated, but like, maybe like previously they slept with your best friend and then they don't tell you about it, and the best friend doesn't tell you what.

Mel: That is or something like that. And.

Yeah, and while we were doing the research for the episode, we came across a great source of information. BuzzFeed,

and this article about how. What are the kind of major things that people hide? 15 secrets people are hiding from partners and why is it not finding it. That's great.

Can't find it. I'm gonna go to my.

Suzie: You just send it to me.

Mel: I know, but I went anyway. I found it. So. I think there are 15 here. And some of these are, like, ridiculous. Like, I scratched your car and I didn't tell you.

I mean, like. Okay, whatever.

I think the thing that seems to come up a little bit too much is I've slept with your mother or your. Yes.

Suzie: What the hell is going on? Who is sleeping with your mom and then sleeping with you and then not telling you, and then mom does. Not telling you, like, what the **** is.

Mel: And then I'm hiding it. So. So one here.

I. I've slept with her new stepmother in the past. Some things we just gotta take to the grave.

I. I don't think you should take that to the grave because. Well, maybe you should. Should. You shouldn't you. And there's another one where the. The guy said.

What did he say? That he slept with the mother. Right.

Suzie: Yeah. Like. Like, how is this happening? Is this just like, so too much of like the Graduate where It's just like Mrs. Robinson.

Mel: Y.

Suzie: And it's like, how old are you? That you're her mom, and yet she's gonna.

Mel: You.

Suzie: But she doesn't know that you. Her mom.

Mel: Like, what?

Suzie: Yeah, like your sister, your cousins.

Mel: Yeah. And you think. I mean, I. I do think. If you're. I mean, your mom, I suppose is a little tricky. I mean, especially if your mum's married. That's another level.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: To your dad, in other words. But if you know, you did sleep with the sister or the cousin or whatever in a. Let's say, a respectable interval, like in the past,

I don't see why that's a big deal. I mean, okay, maybe you would prefer that that was not the case.

But you're an adult. We all have lives. We've all done stuff. How the hell are you supposed to know when you meet that person that then you're gonna meet this person?

And I think it's much. It's probably in that case, just. I mean, come on, really, is it a big deal? Much better to be honest about it, because, I mean, God forbid any kind of situation happened and then you hadn't told a story.

It's a million times worse. So I just think,

if there's nothing there anymore, why is it a big deal?

Suzie: I don't know. And it's very weird.

Mel: And you shouldn't be with the sister, should you? You should be with the other sister.

Suzie: It's, like, so bad.

Mel: I think there are really funny things. Like this one is.

And this is something I also get asked about a lot. And this woman says, I take a secret day of pto. Which I had to ask what that meant. Personal.

What is it?

Suzie: It's a paid day off. Like a paid.

Mel: Paid off?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Once every few months, where she gets dressed, she leaves the house. She basically leaves the house as if she's going to work and pretends to her boyfriend that she's going to work, who works from home.

Oh, no, he doesn't work. That's even worse. Which is even worse. Yeah, which is even worse. And she goes out and kind of has a manicure and has lunch by herself and goes shopping and does her thing, but pretend she's at work so that she gets some time to herself because he's at home.

So if she had the day off, she'd have to spend it with him. Now, on many levels,

this is not good.

Suzie: This is so ****** up, to be honest. On, like, most levels, yeah.

Mel: This is very bad in the sense that you have a day off and you don't want to spend it with your significant other is problematic.

And if you wanted to have a day off where you did, you want to have your manicure and your shopping and your whatever the hell it is you want to do.

I mean,

why would that be a problem? Telling somebody, like, it's funny because I had this situation recently where I have friends of mine who will say, you know, I'll say, let's go for dinner.

And I'll. If I want to go for dinner, I just. I just say, let's go for dinner. I'm the one who has the social calendar, so I know nothing's happening.

So I'm like, great, go out on Friday. I don't go and ask my husband and say, would it be okay if I went out for dinner on Friday?

Suzie: That's insane to me.

Mel: I just go out for dinner on Friday and then I just tell him. I mean, that's it. And he does the same thing. I Mean, obviously we know if there's something major going on and you're not gonna, you know, you're not gonna book.

And he normally has to check with me because he doesn't put any social events in his calendar. So he has no idea what's going on. So he has to ask me.

I, of course, don't have to ask him. But I know people who will, you know, they'll ask their, their spouse or their partner. What do you, Is it okay if I go out?

Would you prefer if I went out on Thursday or Friday or Saturday or Sunday or whatever? And I know lots of people do that and I think it's quite common.

And I find, and men and women, and I find that bizarre. And I find it also bizarre people who like, let's say like last night you went out, right? So let's say you went out with your girlfriends.

Then the boyfriend or the husband says, well, I need to also have a night. Why do you have to have a matching night? Who gives a ****?

Suzie: Also just do it when you want to go out. Like, who literally ******* cares?

Mel: And if you want, like if I obviously go for a manicure or my hair or whatever, yeah, I just book it. I don't check with my partner. I don't say, by the way, I'm going to be at the hairdresser for five hours on a personal time off day or whatever the hell is paid time off day.

You know, I'm just in the hairdresser. That's it. You know, So I think on many levels that's a real problem. Like you should want to spend time with your boyfriend and the days that you don't, fine,

just say, I've got to have my hair done or my nails done or I whatever. What's the big deal?

Suzie: No, the fact that, like, you feel like you have to lie to your significant other about like wanting time for yourself, that's what's crazy.

Mel: It's problematic. Hugely problematic. I think that is actually very, very common one. I think it's very common because people get.

And you know, I know people are going to come for me. But I think, you know, and it's in this buzzfeed article and I think they're right. It is often men,

they don't like their women doing stuff without them. And my advice to you,

listen to the old gal here is you shouldn't be with that man.

Suzie: No, for sure.

Mel: Why would you be with a man who's like that? I mean, he should trust you implicitly. I mean, I've Told you in the past, the amount of people have asked me, you know, do I trust my, you know, husband?

I'm like, of course I trust him. I mean, what is the point if I don't trust him, right?

So on many levels, that's problematic. But people hide the craziest **** well.

Suzie: So this one where it's a girl talking and she's like, me and my boyfriend have been together for five years. We have sex regularly and have. And I have never came.

Not once, not ever. I've been faking it for five years and many more to come.

That is a secret that I will die with. And I'm like, what is wrong with you? Why are you keeping the secret of you've never come with your boyfriend while you're having sex?

How could you keep that as a secret? Like, you're just hurting yourself. Why are you doing that?

Mel: Oh, my.

Suzie: Trying to protect his feelings. What the **** are you doing? Makes me so mad.

Mel: But I think that's. Yeah, but I think that's where the, the, the kind of disconnect is. Like, lots of people, particularly in sex, think if you're going to share something,

it's. It's about the other person. And it isn't necessarily. It's about a lot of different things. In fact, there was,

I'm now going to quote, another podcast, but it's okay, because she's humongous. What does she call? Call her daddy. Call my dad. Whose daddy does she call? She called my dad.

Whatever. Anyway, Amy Schumer was on it the other day, and she said that she has never had an orgasm from penetrative sex with anybody ever.

And which is very, very common, as we've talked about. But I mean, imagine if she didn't share that with the person he was with. Like, I cannot. It doesn't work for me.

Which is very common for women. And if you are a grown *** man, you should know that. But imagine if she didn't share that. So she'd have to go through this whole rigmarole and then sort of go off and deal with herself.

It's just like, that's ridiculous.

You know? But I think a lot of people are not very evolved, Susie.

Suzie: Well, also, because once you get to this point of faking it so so much.

Mel: Yeah, because.

Suzie: And then it's like, obviously it's your problem. Like, it's not them anymore, because you're the one who hasn't been honest about what you need in the sexual relationship. So now it's your problem of like, okay, Now I have to like, try to make myself calm, even though, like.

And then he'll be like, what are you doing? Like, am I not good enough? Because you're making this such a big thing where it's like in the beginning or even in the mid time, it's been five years for this person.

Like the fact that you're just great.

Like I think if, if there is someone listening to this that is going through the same thing and you've been faking it your entire relationship or your entire life just with everyone.

Like there's a way of just like being like, okay, maybe I will bring in a toy just to like, just. And not say it's anything about them, but just being like, I'm gonna bring in this toy which has.

It's been five years. Maybe let's just like heighten our sexual experiences. Right? Like that's sort of normal.

Mel: I mean.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's like what I've said to you before. As you know, I dislike lying. Lying, hiding, whatever the problem is. It just goes like this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it keeps going and the, the deeper you get into it, the worse it gets. Because then, then if you're five years in, then they'll be like, oh my God, then what else have you lied about?

Oh, you know when they had that amazing weekend away and you said it was like, it just like goes on and on. Your mind goes like the boyfriend's mind is just going to go, oh my God, that was a lie.

That was a lie. That was a lie. And so she's worried about that. And I, I mean, what the advice to her would be. Yeah, like what you said. I think you're going to have to gently say or say something like, I'm changing, you know, or this has changed for me,

which does change for women and I need this. But you're going to have to find a way. But yeah, absolutely. Of course, at the beginning people are finding each other.

And sometimes it does not. People don't connect that well. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

Sometimes it takes time.

But I mean, Lord, what are you talking about?

Suzie: Like, imagine, imagine not coming at all.

Mel: Not discussing it with your partner.

No. And to be honest, I don't even imagine that yet.

The older you get and the longer you're with somebody, if you don't, the more of a chore it's gonna, it's just gonna be like, okay, I've done the washing, Tick, I've made the dinner.

****, I've got to do this now. Fine, get over with. And that's just what it becomes. It just becomes a thing you have to do if there is no enjoyment at all.

And also, the more you're in a relationship with other commitments of whatever those commitments are, the less time you have.

So the whole thing just gets worse and worse. Yeah.

Suzie: Just at the end of whatever she said, it was like,

and that's a secret that I will die with. It's like you're literally going to die quickly because you don't come ever.

You're already dead inside. Like maybe you're dead inside. So what. What's. What you got to lose? You know what I mean?

Mel: I think it's. Yeah. I mean, obviously veering off the topic. I think it's very, very, very, very common for women. I think lots of women lie about this.

Suzie: Oh my God.

Mel: Because I used to lie about it.

Suzie: I understand it fully in a, in a.

Mel: You think the society, there's whatever the years are between us, 20, whatever. And it hasn't changed that. It's still this thing where everyone has this thing. It's in all the movies.

And I, I don't mean, you know, X rated movies. I mean normal movies. People have romance and they have sex and it's. Right.

And it's all about penetration.

And that is not the case.

It's just not true. If you know anything about a woman's body,

you know, it's just not true. And if you can't be honest about that, I mean there's also the possibility,

very strong possibility, she doesn't know enough about herself. She doesn't know. And it takes, that takes a long time. But it also takes a partner who's very thoughtful and can see that there's something.

I mean, how does he not know? I know you can be very good at faking it, but if you, if you know somebody for a very long time, your body.

Well, I guess he's never experienced.

Suzie: He's never experienced it though.

Mel: He's never experienced.

Suzie: That's what. And it's like we're talking about hiding things from your partner. This is literally something I would recommend for everyone. Do not lie about this ever. And it's way worse once you get to this person's level of like relationship where you're needing now, it's like.

And especially, I mean you can say this from, from like at your age, right where your hormones are changing and also you give way less fox. So something's bound to, you're bound to say something at an older age if you're still with the same person being like, you've never made me come and think using that as,

like something in a fight. You know what I mean? And then the divorce is eminent, you know, and.

Mel: And that's really unfair. That's really hurtful because it's also presupposing that it's. It's his responsibility. And I. I do think that's another thing that I wish we talked about a bit more generally in.

In. In sex education or education of any kind is accountability.

Accountability for your own pleasure, for your own happiness, for your own everything. You have to be accountable for that. And I know that's really difficult, but you do. And you're pushing the.

In this case, I think you're pushing that onto him. And that's not his responsibility.

No. And now it's gone so long that how the hell is he supposed to know what he should be doing? So if she'd said something, that would be the other thing.

If you'd said something right at the beginning, he'd be like, okay, let's try this transfer, you know, like, then he would have known. How's he supposed to know? He's not a mind reader.

Suzie: And then it's also like, I'm assuming this per. This woman is younger because I used to fake it all the time when I was younger because you don't want to hurt the guy's feelings.

You don't really know how to go about it. You don't really know your body even as much. So, like, once you start getting into your later 20s, hopefully, or early 30s, when you start having more sex or masturbating more or whatever, then you figure it out, and then you're like,

okay, now I can tell someone how to **** me properly, how it works. But I'm assuming this girl just doesn't have enough experience with her own body.

Mel: Which is sad, I would say that. And obviously we don't know this is some random buzzfeed person and are they even real, But I, you know, this does happen a lot, which I think is why we've caught onto this and we're talking about this.

It happens a lot. And,

you know, it just goes to the core of what we're talking about, about hiding things. It's. It's generally never a good idea.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, hiding. I know people.

I mean. Oh, God. I mean, I know so many lies that have been told. People who hide, like, their family history or they hide.

I know one guy once who.

This is his second wife, I'm sure. I've Told you the story, and he's not friends. That's fine.

And he. She was his second wife, didn't have children. He had multiple children, and she wanted children. So he paid for ivf.

Suzie: Oh, yeah. This is horrible.

Mel: But he paid off the doctor,

which we won't say what country this in, because it's not good. He paid off the doctor to not actually do it properly. And. And surprisingly, they're divorced. Not about this, because she never found out, but it doesn't matter that it's about this, which is just the most horrible lie.

It's like. It's a lie. And so everything is based on a lie. So if you know, I mean, that's. That's nuts. And I know. On the flip side of this, I would like to say I know a lot of men,

especially men who have had second wives, second or third wives, who have children, who didn't want to have children, but their partner wanted to have children, and they knew how important it was.

And I know lots of my friends who've had kids, you know, with. With second husbands who are much older. And they did it because they knew or went through IVF or whatever the woman needed because they knew.

They loved that woman. She needed it. And it's not really relevant what they wanted.

They were okay with it. I mean, obviously, if you don't want children, that's another whole discussion. But they had a child because they knew their wife. They knew that she needed it.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And obviously it wasn't a big deal for them. If it was a big deal, that's another discussion. But I mean, yeah. Hiding, lying,

like we talked about at the beginning, hiding finances. I know lots of people who do all sorts of kind of things to. So that husband. Even though they work, which is mad.

So the husband doesn't see the credit card statement.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You know, like, we'll take out cash. So. So it's not. Not that the husband cares about how much money they've spent, even though it's their joint money, which is another level of fuckery, is they just, you know, like, I think some men in particular have real issues with how you spend more money.

You know, oh, my God, you spend 400 bucks on your hair. Oh, my God, you spent $2,000 in a handbag. Oh, my God. Whereas if you'd said, I've spent $2,000 on a.

I don't know,

something that he wants, that would be fine. Yeah.

Suzie: A new lawnmower or something.

Mel: Yeah. What. What do lawn mowers cost? I don't know. I don't **** one of those John Deere things that you get on and that sort of thing. But. And so they just don't like.

They don't care about the sums being spent. They just don't like it going on certain things, which I think is personally mad. Well, if you have the means.

Suzie: If you have the means for buying nice handbags and buying expensive hairstyle like. Like hair things and like this is all your money, then like, there's no question about it. I can understand if like maybe you're behind on your mortgage payments or like you have children.

Who needs things that you're. Of course that's a problem. But if you are just buying things because you want them and there's no problem, then like, yeah, off.

Mel: Yeah. I think you have to get to a thing. And somebody asked me this the other day, like, and actually it's not the first time. People ask me this all the time.

What are my agreement is with my husband about money and how we spend money and blah, blah, blah.

Now I'm very lucky. I'm married to a man who is just not materialistic. He is not interested. He's interested. I'll give you an example. He's so excited because he's just bought himself a vintage blazer.

That was Johnny Carson's. It was. It's Johnny Carson. You know, he's. He loves this. This old,

very famous tv,

which presenter or whatever, American host who died like I don't know how many years ago. But he just thinks he's amazing. And he's been reading his book and he found on ebay somebody selling a blazer.

Cause Johnny Carson used to have a. A clothing line and in this vintage blazer and he's just so excited and it didn't cost him very much money. That's what gets him excited.

He would never, ever, ever go and spend thousands of dollars on. He's just not interested. Yeah, he just doesn't care. It's just his jam. He's not a materialistic person. He doesn't care about watches or.

He doesn't care about anything about stuff like that. He cares. Like he. He's got his.

What you call that pinball machine and that cost him like 15 grand. He'd spend money on that.

Suzie: Oh my God. That's all.

Mel: He's something like that. I don't actually hilarious or. He's very into sport. So he has all these seats at different places. Yeah, it costs a lot of money,

but that is. That is what he likes to do. That's What? He likes to spend his money.

Suzie: You're not going to harass him about what he wants to spend his money on. He's not going to harass you.

Mel: That's.

I don't care. And he likes going to the games and you know, like, especially like with the hockey. Like, you pay a fee, another fee. The hockey, Hockey, the hockey.

And then,

and then it gets more and more expensive. I, I don't,

I don't care. I don't have a discussion about that.

Suzie: No.

Mel: Now, he obviously wouldn't do that if he had a financial issue.

And equally. So this is. I've gone far off the point. But equally, if I wanted something, I wouldn't. I just would not go out and spend certain sums of money.

So, you know, like, I just wouldn't do it without. We sort of have a level. Like he bought his, his pinball machine. I'm pointing. Cause it's over there. We had a conversation.

I said, yeah, get your pinball machine. He would not go out and just buy it. We'd have a conversation because it's, it's a lot of money. Or if you bought a car or if he bought a house.

So he's not just gonna go and buy a house or anything like that, but if he's gonna buy a, a sweater or a pair of jeans or a bag, that's what.

I'm not gonna have a conversation. I'm gonna have a conversation.

Suzie: This is an art. This is. Obviously, I didn't do this, but my, my parents actually. So we have. We as in me? Obviously not, but my parents have a house on the west coast of Canada.

And they were, we were all there because we're visiting my sister who lived there at the time. And they, I was like five years old whenever they did this. And my, they saw this house, it was for sale,

and my dad bought it without telling my mom.

And it turned out to be like, the best thing ever. Like, we go there every summer and it's literally the, like, just an incredible piece of property.

And the house is really cute. It's like nothing fancy or anything, but it's, you know, a property.

And I remember my mom telling me this, like, obviously when I was a little older and like, just bought it without telling her.

Mel: No. Yeah, I mean, I would be mad.

Suzie: Oh yeah. Like, unbelievable.

Mel: We talk, we talk about all these things, but. But you know, if I, like I said, if you're going to go and buy something,

I don't know, like a few hundred thousand, whatever, you're not gonna have A conversation. If I'm gonna spend five grand, ten grand, I'm. I'm not gonna do that because.

And I'm not stupid. And I also, you know, there's a respect there, right? But.

But yeah, we don't have a conversation about it.

Suzie: So funny. I mean, so. Well, there's this other. So there's one more thing that I. On this stupid little article from buzzfeed,

and I want to ask you what you would have done in this. Okay, so this is a guy telling the story, and he's like. He's talking about his girlfriend or wife's like, sister in law.

Like his sister in law. So her sister got way too drunk a few years ago and made a pass at me.

She never brought it up again. Like, the sister never brought it up again. So either she forgot or she's like dying inside about it.

To be fair, the girl, it was incredibly out of character for her. I was initially keeping it a secret to stop the sisters fighting, but it's been so long now.

If I bring it up, I'm pretty sure it will sound super sus. Suspect,

probably not that scandalous. But I don't do.

He's like, he's. He doesn't do that stuff. Like he's a monogamous person.

But like, if. Let's say Max, he. Max does have a brother. But let's say, you know, this is another secret brother, and he made.

He made a passing you when he was drunk. Would you tell Max about it if the brother didn't bring it up?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You would tell him?

Mel: Yeah. I mean, look, I can tell you a similar story in my family. My father made a pass at my mother in law.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: My father's a charm, a charming individual.

And she didn't tell me for very long time because she didn't know what to do with that. And I.

No, I mean absolute respect for that. It's a horrible situation,

and I don't know what the hell. What is she gonna do? What's she gonna say? That's very difficult.

Suzie: I mean, what is she gonna do? But also, what are you gonna do with that? You know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah, yeah. 100. Yeah, exactly. And she told me many years later.

Suzie: It'S not your fault. But I mean, obviously it's not the ideal situation.

Mel: Yeah, no.

And I was like, oh, you should have told me, because I 100% believe you, because I know my dad's like, but.

And I laugh because there's nothing else I can do other than love. But no, I would definitely Tell Max.

Yeah, so, like, if, like, again, if we have situations where somebody makes a pass or does something, I mean, I get. We always laugh about it. Like,

he seems to endlessly have older women trying to pick him up, which I think is the funniest thing ever.

I was in. We were in the airport the other day, and he's just sitting down, and this old. We're in the line to check in, and they're taking a long time, so he sits down.

And this older woman, I'd say, so Max is 51. I'd say she was probably 65, maybe 70, something like that. And she sat down next to him, and I just watched them because I thought it was funny.

And I could just see she was desperate to talk to him.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: And it was so funny. And then. And obviously I was standing there. But anyway, he started talking, and this woman was British, and of course she's like, oh, where are you from?

And then she just didn't stop talking.

But it was so funny. She was clearly. I said, she, she, she fancied you. And he's like, what? And I said, yes, Max.

But if that had happened and I wasn't there, yeah, he would have said something just because it's funny. And I, I think if you don't say something, I don't think that's a big deal either, because it could have just been some stupid thing that happened in the day and you just don't even remember,

and who the hell cares? But I would probably say something. Yeah, I think I would.

But in this man's case, I think that's very difficult to bring it up many years later.

Suzie: Well, also, I think, like, sisters are different than brothers. Do you know what I mean?

Mel: 100%. 100%.

Suzie: It was like a brother. Because men are obviously more known to be more sexual. So it's like, okay, like, dude, that was really not ******* cool. And I don't want to ******* ever have to tell you to not do that again.

Like, that's kind of the end of the situation. Sisters were very much more, like,

mean.

Mel: Yeah, well, women are mean. Women are bitchy. And I, I, I think also your natural reaction, you'd say, well, why are you telling me now what's happened? You, you immediate mind would go to what's going on.

And then you, your mind would go down this rabbit hole of, that's happening. That's not happening. He's just telling you because he feels he should tell you. But no, like, can't.

Suzie: No, like, for real.

Mel: Like, if I just drop it.

Suzie: This would have never. And I know you don't have siblings, so it's like,

you know, but I. I have a half sister, and she's much older than me.

But it would be the most insane thing if I were to, like, hit on her husband or if she were to, like, hit on my. Whoever.

I would never. We would never trust each other again. Like, not even a chance. But, like, men are different. Men are like. Brothers are different. They're all like, you know, like, they make more jokes and they do more stupid stuff.

Women are literally mean. We're. We're very mean and we're very, like, direct with what we want. And there usually isn't a question about it, even though we might. See, we might play stupid.

Like, we're very calculated a lot of the time. So, like, for sure, if we're hitting on someone, that means we want to fudge them 100%.

Mel: 100. I totally agree with you. I also, you know, I say this to Max all the time, and he's kind of shocked by it. I say, women are willing. They could be your best friend, but if they want that man, they will scratch you.

They will tear you down. They don't give a **** because the. The ends justify the means. And they'll look at you and they'll be like, why do you have that?

Why do you have all of that? Why? Blah, blah. And that's what women think. They don't. They're not happy for you. They're generally thinking, well, why has she got that?

I'm better looking, I'm younger, I'm this. And whatever.

Women are not generally happy for you. So I totally agree with you in that moment. Maybe.

Maybe she does find him attractive. She doesn't wanna have a relationship with him, but she was drunk or lonely or all of the above, and she hit on him. And look, let's face it, most of us have been in some kind of situation like that before,

and I really. If nothing happened and this happened years ago, drop it like a stone weight at the bottom of the sea.

Because if you bring it up, your wife, stroke, girlfriend, whatever, is definitely gonna think something else has happened for sure, gonna believe you. And she's gonna hunt down the truth and get obsessed with it and be obsessive, and then every family gathering you have is gonna work.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So, you know, I think if you'd made a joke at the time, oh, my God, your sister was a bit ******. I think she made a pass at me or whatever,

whatever. But you didn't. You left it. I understand why you didn't say anything. I totally understand that. And I think also sometimes in situations like that, if she didn't sort of touch you, or maybe it was just a silly, eh, you know, maybe just let it go.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: But, but now let it go. Do not bring it up. Women do not deal with these situations. Well,

it's because nothing happened. If nothing happened, and you don't want anything to happen, just let it go. I mean, it's a different situation. If she tries something again,

you know, then you're in a different thing. But I mean, if five years have passed, it's probably unlikely, you know,

but yeah,

it's tough, I think. I mean, you gotta hide. You gotta hide that.

Suzie: Yeah. And I, like, obviously, like, there's, there's a few more. And I'm sure you guys listening have her thinking about what you've hidden from your partners. And if you guys have stories about it, we'd love to hear from you at sharemytruth.com or dms@sharemytruthpod.

But there's so many things that we hide that we don't even realize we're hiding. Right. Like, we just kind of were like, yeah, oh, that's not an important thing. Or maybe it's just, like, you don't want to hurt their feelings.

But if it's something that you will make your life better or will help the relationship, or maybe you just need to get it off your chest.

I mean, don't do it selfishly, but, like,

it's better to talk. If this is a partner that you think you're gonna be with for a while, it's better to talk about it.

Mel: Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

Suzie: Not that I can take my own advice ever, but, you know.

Mel: I'm not saying anything,

but,

but yeah, I mean, if it's like big things like we said, like in your, your intimate relationship, or you've, you, you're in debt or like that, I mean, you kind of got up,

fess up. Do you know what I mean? Is that an English term, fess up? You've got to tell the truth because what are you gonna do? Like, are you gonna, are you gonna hide this forever?

I, I, I, I don't know. What, I don't know. What do you do with your credit card? What do you do if you go and buy a house and then they look at the guys or the woman's credit rating?

Like, oh, well, you know, they're $400,000 in debt and you're like what? And so you go through this whole thing and you can't buy the house anyway because they're in.

I mean,

what's the point of that?

Suzie: No, it's really bad, but it's really stupid.

Mel: I, I do understand the, the, the whole point of our podcast and the whole problem with people in general is they don't like talking because talking is difficult. Apparently you and me find this very easy and talk way too much to.

Suzie: Each other, though, not to men.

Mel: Right, Right. But, you know, a little bit of communication is, is, is kind of helpful. Everyone, you know, don't lie about big ****. I mean, you can lie about.

I don't know. I didn't actually make that cake. I bought it, you know,

which I wouldn't.

Suzie: I love that so much.

Mel: I should know. I've never made a cake. Never made a cake in my life, but I have actually. It was pretty. You know, I'm not known for my cooking. But anyway, I digress.

So that's. Those are our thoughts.

Suzie: Yeah, guys, let us know if there's anything that you guys would add to this. I mean, if any of the things that we've spoken about today, if any of these people's situations sound familiar, we'd love to hear from you.

But with that, we shall see you next week.

Mel: Bye.

Suzie: Love ya.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth Pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you you next time. Bye bye.

3, 2, 1.Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: 1, 2, 3, 4.

And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie, and we are so excited to be here with you here today. Happy Valentine's Day.

To those who celebrate,

here's a sweet little friendly reminder to subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it. You can check us out on any of our socials at ShareMyTruthPod. And you can also go to ShareMyTruth.com where you can share your truths with us.

Send us your nasty little Valentine's Day stories. That's what we want to hear right now. Hey, babe.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: Fabulous.

Suzie: Mel and I, if you're watching this on YouTube, you guys can follow us on YouTube. Subscribe there. We're Reddit. We're wearing a red and pink.

Mel: We are.

Suzie: We didn't even. We didn't even. We're actually matching black pants, red, pink tops.

Mel: We didn't coordinate.

Suzie: We didn't even coordinate. We were just in the very much a love mood. Even though I do not like Valentine's Day at all.

Mel: No.

Suzie: I've always been that kind of person. Even when I have someone to celebrate with.

Mel: It's annoying, isn't it? It's the worst holiday because it's just like. Well, if you go out to a restaurant, you can't get a reservation.

Suzie: No, it's the worst.

Mel: Like, really? Ugh. And I'm actually going to be on Valentine. Actual Valentine's Day. Do I say that? Yeah. With my daughters.

Suzie: That's very nice.

Mel: And my husband. So those are the loves of my life.

Suzie: That's very sweet, actually, but I. I don't.

Mel: It's not about. It should be about. I think probably the nicest thing is if somebody cooks you a nice meal at home. Well, yeah.

Suzie: I hate the holidays with expectations.

Mel: I hate the fact that it's called a holiday. That ***** me off.

Suzie: I know. Well, it's obviously not a ******* holiday because we don't get a holiday off.

Mel: Exactly. That's a very North American thing. Give me. You can call it a holiday if you give me the day off.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Otherwise it's not a holiday.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Because it's illegal, Stewart Hallmark should be illegal.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But no, it's annoying and there's a lot of pressure and. And then it makes everyone else feel like ****. And that's not cool.

Suzie: Totally. I remember my first, like, when I was, like, in high School or whatever. Going out for like my first like Valentine's Day like date or whatever. We went to like Boston Pizza.

We had a heart shaped pizza.

Mel: That's hilarious.

Suzie: I forget the guy's name. I think he was pretty nice though. He paid for it at least.

Mel: That's very sweet. I think that's very sweet.

Suzie: I totally forgot that.

Mel: I mean when you're young you should do that and that's sweet. I think that's really nice.

Suzie: Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Mel: You're in your teens or early twenties or the beginning of a relationship. I think you should do something. But you don't have to I think because it's nice. And most women like to be, you know, let's face it, the center of attention.

Yeah, but it's just the whole commercial stuff and then this like pressure to go out to a restaurant and the thing I don't like is maybe I just want to go for dinner on the 14th.

But of course. And then you go oh ****. Well I can't.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: And that's annoying.

Suzie: And then everyone thinks you're on a date and it's really gross. But the one thing I do love is like the lingerie time.

Mel: I'm sure you did.

Suzie: And they'll have all these cute lingerie for sale for Valentine's Day and all the jewelry and it's just, it's just a nice excuse to maybe one up your little lingerie wardrobe.

Mel: Absolute mon.

Suzie: And get new pair of shoes and whatever else you want.

Mel: Throw in a pair of shoes.

Suzie: Yeah, fck it.

Mel: Buy them yourself.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly. Because the men that we're about to speak about.

Mel: Yeah. Are annoyed by this.

Suzie: We want to hear though if you guys have any kind of Valentine's Day stories or past stories that you guys want to tell us about, we would love to hear these weird or funny.

Mel: Or nasty horror like horrible things that have happened. That's terrible. I say that but like things that shouldn't happen on day that do or.

Suzie: Things you were hoping are happen didn't happen the right way or anything like that.

Mel: Imagine getting dumped on Valens dine.

Suzie: Well, it happens all the time.

Mel: You have to be a giant ******* to do that. I mean I, I, I say female or male.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: I mean you have to be an. Wouldn't you? Yeah, I'm just do it the day after the day before.

Suzie: God, love freaks me out. Like why do I have to do this? Why did you put so many expectations on this? I just want to, I want to order a pizza alone with my little dog.

And just, like, not talk to anyone for the whole day. That would be a perfect Valentine's Day for me.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. I'll be in a pub in the uk.

Suzie: That sounds really nice. Have. Have a point for me, love.

Okay, well, we're going to talk about today. We found this, um, very interesting article, and it's in the Sunday Times, of all places in London. Um, but it's about men and their real stories about these men from all ages, from like, 20s to 70s, who have been on the dating apps.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And who were telling about their experiences on the dating apps. And I found this, and I thought it was really interesting because you don't see a lot of articles about men talking about their experiences about dating, especially.

Mel: On the apps 100. And we've talked a lot about dating apps on this show, but we've talked about, obviously, because we're women, the female perspective. And obviously I'm not on them.

But you were, and you're no longer on them. But we've talked about the female side and we'd really like to know the male side. But obviously we don't know because we're not men.

But this is an article that has all these parents. Parents. Men's experiences. Where's my mind is.

And then we'd like to know what you think.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Because, you know, we have our thoughts. Well, I have my thoughts.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Like, on the whole thing.

Suzie: So, I mean, I'll just get right into it and to, like, what some of these guys have to say about just dating in general and being on the app. So this one guy, obviously, they don't give last names.

His name is Tom. He's 29.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: And his title is. She told me women feel pressure to have sex if men pay the bill on the first date. So I decided we should split the bill. And she pulled a face.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So obviously there is an expectation of men paying on the date, whether it's the first, the third. Men are usually the ones to pay, which I very much appreciate. I think most women appreciate because it takes a lot for us to get ready for the date to, you know, especially if we are looking to hook up or even not hook up.

We still get ready. We put makeup on. We do all the stuff to get ready for the guy we're about to see and possibly the man of our dreams. We don't know.

Right.

So I can understand if she's the one who's saying she kind of set herself up for this in the worst way possible.

So it's. I mean, it's not. It's not her fault that he suggested this, but it is kind of her fault.

Like. Yeah. What do you think?

Mel: Okay, so I have lots of thoughts on this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I think this is where a lot of the confusion comes from. Dating.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Is. And look, I do think in anything, it's men and women.

But the problem in this example is that women are talking about equality and being girl busters and all this kind of ****, yet they want. This is very traditional. You want the man to pay.

It's very traditional. And you literally. I'm sorry, you can't have your cake and eat it. Right. It's like you're one or the other.

So I think that's the problem. I think that sends all these very confusing messages to men.

And I think older men are not confused by this because they grew up in an era where you do pay the bill and you do ask the girl out and the rest of it.

Whereas it's very confusing to young men. And I saw this thing the other day, which I thought was really interesting, and this girl went on a date with this guy and she didn't expect for him to pay.

Yeah. I honestly think you should be prepared to split the bill.

Suzie: Oh, 100%. Especially if it goes south. Yeah, I will pay the ******* bill.

Mel: Right. And if he pays, that's very nice. And she said she was prepared to pay and then he paid and she thought that was really nice. And she liked the fact that he was in his provider energy.

I thought that was the funniest thing I heard always.

So I think that's the thing about women that is actually confusing to men is we want equality and we want this and we want all the other. Yeah. And we're perfectly capable of doing everything ourselves, which is absolutely true.

Yet we want the provider energy man. And then that's confusing.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So I think it should be. I mean, I do think I'm a bit traditional. I think it's nice when the man pays.

Suzie: Oh, yeah.

Mel: Because it's provider energy. And that's the kind of man I would want. I have as a provider energy man.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: But see, I'm using the term skills.

Suzie: I love it.

Mel: Very modern of me.

But I think you should. If this is a young woman, you should go prepared to split the bill. I don't think you should necessarily think, oh, he's a. Whatever guy.

You can make that assessment with whatever happened. And then if he pays, that's really nice. But if you go and then you're like, hang on. And you pull a face like that, like you said, you're setting yourself up and it's confusing.

It's really confusing.

Suzie: And then it's also just like, that guy's not gonna **** you at the end of it anyways.

Mel: Well, definitely not.

Suzie: Yeah, no. I, for one, am in that energy now. And this was not where I was maybe when I was like, in my early 20s.

Mel: Yeah, of course.

Suzie: But now that I'm in my late 20s, I'm definitely more of like a girl that's, like, I would love. I want to feel that this guy not only can, but wants to provide for me.

And I know that I can provide for myself. Like, that's not the problem.

Mel: It's.

Suzie: If this guy is willing to even just pay for a simple dinner.

Mel: That's nice.

Suzie: Like, it's not only nice, but it's just like. It just shows a certain amount of, like, appreciation and, like, you know, just. Just gentlemanly.

Mel: 100.

Suzie: There are no gentlemen anymore, right? So, like, if we even have the slightest bit of someone being courteous, and it's just. It's just a nice thing for a guy to do,

first date, especially.

Mel: 100. But I do have a con comment, and we have done episodes about this gentleman issue. But, like, my husband always says it's like he always opens the door for anyone.

And he would open it obviously for a woman always. And the amount of times he's been, like, in an office building or not, like, somewhere, and you're the man who goes.

And then, you know, you open the door for the woman and they just go,

no. Like, they give you. Yeah. And they give you, like, stop. Yeah, they criticize you. Like, you don't need to open the. Like, they're nasty to you. And so it's like.

I think that's the other thing is that men are confused. Like, are we supposed to do it or we're not supposed to do it? Like, we wanna do it, but then we get **** for, like, I open.

Suzie: The door for everyone. It doesn't matter where the **** gender you are.

Mel: I completely agree. But I think there are a lot of people, male and female, who are very confused.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And I really think at the end of the day, you should do what is right for you and what you feel good. So if you are gentlemanly provider, energy type of guy, I think you should be that guy.

Right? And if you're a girl who's whatever the female version of that is, do that. And you have to be true to yourself, otherwise you're not going to meet for sure.

Whether it's a short term or a long term, you're not going to meet or have the connection or the chemistry with somebody.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But I think a lot of people are very confused. Yeah. Like, I know, like my husband always says that, like I've had so many instances where I've opened the door of car or you know,

like a building of, you know,

and they're like, give you a. Like. No. Yeah.

Suzie: Well, I mean this is also. And I'm going to like, this is about this as well. Where if I'm going to go on a date with a guy who I don't really know as much about, like, let's say I met him on an app.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I will usually try to get him to pick the spot one because then he knows how much the bill's going to be. Most likely he's not going to. I'm not taking him to a Michelin star restaurant and expecting it to be like, you know, expecting him to pay.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So I want him to pick the plays.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Also it just shows me what kind of food he likes, what kind of vibe he likes and like, even if I want to go on that date.

Mel: Yeah. And how you should dress. Like what.

Suzie: How you should dress and whatever. So like I want him to choose that also. It just gets, it makes me know this is just like women overthinking. But I feel like it's true.

Like if the guy is not willing to pick out where we're gonna go, what we're gonna do on that first date especially, it's not good. Then it's like, how are you going to.

You can't even make a decision of.

Mel: 100 date and then you.

Suzie: And then you're not going to pay for it at the end of the night. Like just. It, just a lot of it is just not like relationship material. So why am I wasting my time on that date in the first place?

Mel: 100%. I think most women, if we're honest.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: We love it when the man kind of organizes this.

Suzie: Organizes pays.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: Takes care.

Mel: Exactly. Because it just means it makes you feel good, it makes you feel special. And we can have the whole argument about gender roles and you know,

and whatever. And I'm certainly not Donald Trump on that subject.

Suzie: Gender roles could change. But there's a thing about being generous and like.

Mel: Yeah. You know, I think you kind of have to be true to. I don't think you have to be.

You have to be true to who you are. And I don't. I think a lot Particularly I see with a lot of young women are very confused. Just be with what you're comfortable with.

Stop worrying about, you know, well, I should do this. And, you know, and. But I do think that is very confusing for men because all these women have said, don't open the door, get away from me, you freak, kind of thing.

Suzie: How are these women? I want to have a talk with that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Like, I don't know who they are. Right. Like, I've never, ever heard. Maybe because my age group doesn't.

Mel: I remember, I feel like Gen Xers.

Suzie: Are very like, I'm the woman of the providing. And then millennials are kind of like. Well, I kind of like a man to.

Mel: Yeah, it's gone backwards. I remember distinctly not that long ago, I was, like, walking with my husband and I was kind of.

We were like, going on a walk in, you know, Toronto, in the ravines. You know, it was summer, I guess, the summer. And I was kind of behind him, and there was a young woman.

I'd say she was probably Gen Z behind him. And he saw she was trying to get by, and he. She, I guess, didn't see me. And he just kind of stepped aside and said, oh, please, go ahead.

And she was like, get away from me, you freak.

Suzie: Ew.

Mel: And he just looked at her like, uh, what? I mean, the assumption. Yeah, the assumption that you think a. That I'm attracted to you is amazing. What?

Suzie: I'm like, holy ****.

Mel: But, like, no, I'm just. And then he was just like, okay, whatever. I'm just getting out the way. I'm just saying, oh, please, go ahead. And she was offended by that.

Yeah. And I think that's the problem is so many men have been in situations and women. And, you know, you have to ask yourself, why are we in this situation?

But they've got offended. And you're like, what? So you. I mean, there are women who would be offended if the man pays the bill.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So you can't win. Well.

Suzie: And you know what? I will give men this, too. And I've had this kind of same mindset sometimes, not all the time, but it's that mindset of like, a girl's gotta eat, you know, and we do just go on dates, not just because maybe want to like the guy or want to have sex,

but just because we want to go for dinner, we want to go get dressed up, we want to have an experience. We are not expecting anything of, like, oh, we want this to be relationship.

And that's going to bring me into.

Mel: My you don't have to tell the man that.

Suzie: Right. Well, so this kind of brings me into my. Like, this guy who's.

So this guy's 27. His name is Tim. And then he says the date went really well. And then I got the same old line. And that line is, I had a great time, but I've realized I'm not in the right place at the moment.

Or I'm not, like, over somebody else.

Mel: Why the **** are you there?

Suzie: But this is what I'm saying. Because a girl's gotta eat.

Mel: Can't she just go with a friend? Oh, is it because you want the man?

Suzie: Because you want the man to. Vague. But again, this is the problem.

Mel: Sneaky, isn't it?

Suzie: No, we're *******.

Mel: We are *******. Because that's the thing is. And we've talked about this a lot, and women are endlessly complaining about men's behavior.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: And I'm not saying men don't behave badly, because they do. But the point is, is women behave equally as bad.

And maybe that's the thing, that it's shocking to men that those are the rules of dating that have sort of switched up that women are behaving as badly or worse as men.

Suzie: Well, women.

Mel: No, and worse than men.

Suzie: So I had a friend tell me about a dating story that he had.

And he said that she was like, you know, she could have been like Victoria's Secret model. Like, she was gorgeous.

And she was about the same age as him, like mid-30s.

And they went to brunch together. And she complained the whole time about everything.

Mel: About the food, about everything.

Suzie: So, like, the table that he was sitting at, he got there before she did. Like, she was late for the date, whatever. But she complained about the table he was sitting at, so they had to move tables.

And then she got her food.

Something was wrong with the food. She had to send it back. And he was, like, trying to make it better. And he was like, I cannot.

Like, if this is the first date, forget it. How are you going to be even if we're like a month into this? Like, the bullshit meter, right, is. Is too high to deal with how hot she is even.

Like, that's a problem.

Mel: And is that part of it that she knows she's so hot that she just thinks, well, I can behave like an ***. Well, you can't.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You know, but I mean, men do that. Women do that.

Suzie: But it's like, that's why you're single in your mid-30s.

Mel: 100%. 100%. Is look, if you're going on a date, I'm sorry, but you gotta be nice and you gotta behave.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And there's, you know, the old adage, you know, you only get one chance.

Suzie: To, well, make a first impression. Yeah.

Mel: It's the same thing. And you are on your best behavior whether you like it or not. Otherwise, what is the point of going on dates?

Suzie: And extra nice, like, of course. And just courteous and nice. And, like, if you're gonna be late, like, I'm usually late for the first date, but, like, by like five, seven minutes.

Because you don't want to be the first one there. I got, you know, and like, you want them to kind of be a little yes about it.

And you want strategic.

Mel: No, it's because you want to make an entrance.

Suzie: And you want to make an entrance. You want to be cute.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But. Yeah. So it is kind of difficult when women aren't actually prepared to cut. Like, we have. We have hopes. We have hope. Maybe this is the guy. Maybe it'll be fun.

But. But maybe it is. This is a possibility. Maybe it's the. It's his problem. Maybe they don't want him. Right. Like, yeah, they're saying, oh, no, I'm not really into it.

I'm not. I don't want a relationship right now. Because they don't want a relationship with him.

Mel: Just don't say it.

Suzie: I know.

Mel: Just say this.

Oh, no. Maybe say that bit in a text. Just say, this is great. Have a nice. You know, I don't know. Don't say it to his face. Yeah, it's mean.

And that's just a lie, isn't it?

Suzie: Well, it's possible that it's a lie. I think most people know that if you're blaming it on your ex or you're blaming that. Exactly. You're blaming that.

Mel: It's. It's.

Suzie: You're not into relationship right now.

Mel: Text him. Say something. Come up at work. I'm going away for two weeks. I don't care. Just be nice. Yeah, that's when white lies are very helpful.

Suzie: So this guy is kind of saying what we've been saying for this whole time, where it's like he says, I know some men tend to overplay the difficulties of being a man on the modern dating scene.

But the real problem is that dating rules aren't so clear anymore, and men are genuinely confused. It's not even clear when a date is a date. A woman recently said to me as we sat down to a candlelit dinner, just to be Clear, this is not a date.

Mel: And I said, what are you doing there?

Suzie: So what are you doing there? And then he said, that's strange. I thought I'd ask her on a date. And we were both dressed for a date. And at the end of the meal, it was clear that she was expected.

That she expected me to pick up the bill.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And he says, I've met other women like this. I call them date deniers. They tell themselves they're not out on a date, they're just having a drink or a bite to eat.

But I always feel that what they're really saying is, under no circumstances will I have sex with you or fall in love with you.

And it's like,

then what the **** are you doing? Like in. It's like, this isn't a friend meetup.

Mel: I know. That's what.

Suzie: That's what's annoying about that.

Mel: What are you doing? Then you're just like, chatting and like, obviously, like.

Suzie: No, like, people aren't expecting someone to have sex on the first date, most likely. Right.

Mel: That's the expectation.

Suzie: Right. It's like. But expectation. There is an expectation that this is a date. That is the basic expectation. Otherwise, this is like a. Hey, like, let's get to know each other.

Maybe we can pull something nice out of this.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And have sex at a later date or something like that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Or make this a relationship.

Mel: I mean, who knows? Just. I just. Yeah. Just chill out. I think the problem is that it sounds like most of these. Well, it is most of these. Sorry. Are all dating app things.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And the part of the problem with that is the whole reason for meeting is so unnatural.

Suzie: Totally.

Mel: So you've chosen somebody mostly on their appearance, really. You don't know their personality. So you're nervous. The whole thing is weird. The whole. You know. And I just think it creates a very unnatural environment.

Whereas, obviously, I'm gonna say in the old days. The old days, you met people at parties, at stuff like that, and then you went on a date. So you'd had a little chat, a little.

Suzie: You met them in person. You know that they're normal or they're okay.

Mel: You had a little connection or you went on blind dates. Cause your friends set you up. And sometimes those were. I mean, that's how I met my husband, on a blind date.

And so you know that. But you know, your friends set you up, so you're hoping, okay, this isn't gonna be that often, and then you can talk about that. Like, I think because it's so unnatural And I think the other thing about the apps, and we've talked about this a lot,

and it's. I think one of the reasons you've come off them is it's just so, like, manufactured and so, like, oh, my God, we're doing this again. Yeah.

And so people just get into this, like, very, kind of robotic kind of.

Suzie: It's very weird. And, like, it's. It's very interesting. That's why it's interesting to hear these men's perspective, because I was just telling you, like, obviously, I'm. I'm off the apps right now.

I had, like, a month break out of Toronto, so I was, like, out of here, so I didn't have to worry about anything like that. But it was just like, I'm off the apps, and it's addictive to be on them.

Right. Because you're constantly getting, like, reaffirmed attention, like, blah, blah, blah. So I'm getting kind of, like, withdrawals of, like, my ego.

Just like, nobody's telling you. No, exactly. And I'm like. I'm like, why do I even.

Mel: Please tell she's hot?

Suzie: Why do I need that, though? Why do I need all this external attention from people I don't even know that don't even matter? And then it overwhelms me in a way that I'm like, I don't even want to talk to any of these guys.

And so I just get off the app. So it's this weird cycle that I feel a lot of women are also dealing with. Yeah, I mean, I think men are getting frustrated.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think it's the society we live in because of social media. Like, you spend so much time looking at so much visual stuff, stuff most of the time, which is total inane **** that we're all kind of.

Our brains are like an algorithm. And so that's. That's part of the problem, you know, And. And then it's this thing of, like, people on the apps are either very posed or they take these kind of goofy pictures,

and then you meet them and it's not the same. And, you know, that's the pro. I mean, I don't know. It's not going in a good place. But, I mean, the one thing is, it does seem that men and women, the one thing I can say equally, have problems with it.

So they have different opinions. And I would like to say, why do women say these things? Like dating? I think it's because, like, men, they're scared. They're scared of meeting a stranger.

They're scared of, oh, my God, am I never gonna meet anyone? They're scared that something could happen. There's so many weird feelings, I think, because it's so unnatural that you say stupid things.

You say things, you know, because you don't know what to say kind of thing, you know.

Suzie: Well, I mean, there's. I mean, there's a few other ones of these, but.

So there's this one guy, and he's in his 40s, and he's dating younger women and women in their 20s, right? So not super young, but like, women in their 20s, much younger than him.

And this guy had a similar experience to my friend who I was just talking about, who she had problems with the, you know, server. And so he's saying he did not like that she was rude to the waiter and that, like, she had just so many complaints.

And she was on her phone.

People, if you are on your phone in a date, on a date, and you are just looking at your phone, that. And you're not like.

Like, looking something up or like, do you know what I mean? You don't need to be on your phone at that time. Like, get the **** off your phone.

Mel: Well, it's. It's generational thing. And I'd like to say to this man, you should be dating women close to your age.

And the other thing, I think. I think I told you the story and I repeated it in a previous pod. A friend of mine,

whose friend, who's, like, sort of in his 50s, recently divorced and just wanted to, you know, I mean, quite reasonably, kind of had a period of time, wanted to start, you know, getting out there and meeting women.

And everyone has the same problem. How do I do that? And I think his actual age thing was kind of men is always a bit younger, but maybe 10 years younger, not like 20.

Like, he was in the 50s, maybe in your 40s or 30s or whatever, and he met this woman, and they're just having a nice time, having a chat, and then she asks him, do you want children?

And he's like, no, I've got two grown children. And she just completely went off on him like a psychopath and just completely lost it. Sorry. And you're like, ladies,

if you meet a man, I mean, you'd think this would be on the frigging profile. But if that's what you want and that's not what he wants, this is my advice.

Have a nice dinner, enjoy this nice person's company.

Suzie: Totally.

Mel: And then that's it. Do you have to be an *******. Do you have to scream at any.

Suzie: Also, was this the first date?

Mel: It's the first date. Chill. Like I said. I know I said this a lot, but just relax.

Like, if that's not. If you're not going in the same way. I mean, one date's a bit. You know, I would also say to you, if you want children, why in God's name are you dating men in their 50s?

Suzie: Right.

Mel: That's just stupid. So that's just stupid.

Suzie: Girls, girls. It is. No, it is. It is. I know.

Mel: It's just the number one thing you want. What are you doing?

Suzie: I know. It's so hard. And Mel and I were just talking about this before we started. It's just, like, because I enjoy older men's company more, and I find it very hard to find guys interesting my own age or even, like, just a little bit.

Yeah, I'm older than me. Like, it's just. They're just so. They're still trying to figure it out, which is totally fair. But I'm at a point where I'm just like, I want someone who knows more of who they are in their provider energy and their provider energy.

And mostly those men are late 40s, 50s, and I just like the energy they have. But I also know that I want to get married someday. And I don't know if I want kids, but the kids.

It's nice to have the option.

Mel: I don't want possibility.

Suzie: I don't want to cut off that option yet.

Mel: Yeah, but it's.

Suzie: And then girls, it's tough out there. I get it.

Mel: But I actually think it's one of the things. And I've never said this to you before, but I think one of the things. One of the reasons you enjoy older people's company is part of what older people like geriatrics like myself, is that it's part of what I was saying.

Like, we're clearer because we grew up in a different world that in some ways was. There were way less rules. It was way less. Like, nobody got offended by anything.

I mean, it was pretty outrageous, right? And I'm not saying that's a good thing, but it was a different world. And so maybe we're clearer. We don't get upset about stuff, and it's just easier.

Suzie: Yeah. No, that's so true.

Mel: Maybe that's something you enjoy. And to me, that makes a lot of sense. You're not, you know, if you're in your 40s and 50s, you are generally. And the kind of people, you know, you're Secure in your life.

You know who you are. You're not messing about.

You don't take any bullshit, but you're also not offended or upset or every five seconds is not some drama. You know, I think that is, you know. You know, I'm not trying to **** on younger people, but it is a thing of this endless trauma.

I just go. And I don't have any more energy for it. Just like, just, Just. Okay, move on.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, and. And I do think that's probably something, knowing you is. That makes a lot of sense to me, is. It's just the ease at which you can.

Suzie: Very good observation. Because I. I do find that, like, there are so many things that people get worked up about at my age that I'm also. I think we're all just starting to figure out how far can we go with a lot of this stuff?

Right?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And how angry can we be with a lot of the stuff that we can't control? And like, how. How much more energy do we need to put into this before we realize that, like, this is not making us happy?

And like.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Things like that. And I find. I do find that there's a lot of people and I think it's more. Women are very much strong in their beliefs, which they should be.

But also there is very little give and take with that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And sometimes this is for men too. And I find that there is a little more leniency when it comes to men's.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Personalities. Maybe they just want to sleep with you and they'll say whatever they want as well.

Mel: That's part of it.

Suzie: But. Yeah, there is. But it is nice to have someone of an age where they don't get offended or they're. They kind of are used to just like rolling off their shoulder.

Mel: Like, that's exact. That's exactly it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Rolls off. And you can just have a fun conversation and not be hyper aware of every single thing that you see.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Absolutely.

Mel: And just have a fun time. And I think it's this intensity that is around the generations, which, you know, I've said it before in other pods that I think we've done it.

Gen Xers have done it to our children. You know, I mean, you know, Jesus, just. My parents didn't know where I was half the time. I mean, that was pretty common, you know, so you were more like, you have to just get on with it, you know?

And so I think I do understand that. That makes a lot of sense to me.

Suzie: Yeah. So, yeah. If you're a hot 50 year old guy you can slide into my DM.

Mel: Well, we'd like a little bit younger for you. I would like, I would like Susie to be dating somebody this, I'm putting my input, maybe 10 years older.

Suzie: I know I need a matchmaker to be.

Mel: Yeah. 10 years older. Nice person.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Provider energy, Definite mom.

Suzie: Definite.

Mel: And either come, you know, has had a long term relationship or has been married but no children.

Suzie: Yeah. I mean, I just don't think I'm stepmomy material.

Mel: It just complicates things. But no children.

Suzie: Yeah, it would be better. Yeah, Would be nicer.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: They could have a dog though. Yeah, I wouldn't mind.

Mel: Fine.

Suzie: Yeah. So there's this guy who's 48. Okay.

He says, I've heard that when it comes to online dating, 80% of women are attracted to the top 20% of men. I think you brought up that point before.

And so he's kind of saying this is going to make you sound arrogant. But he's, you know, over six foot, he's photogenic, he has a big smile.

So he's pretty cute. He's in the top 20 per se.

And he feels very good about that.

I think what he's saying though is that like he has the means to take women out to have experiences. Obviously. Like, he doesn't, he doesn't like when women have expectations about the date, which I feel like is a pattern with a lot of these guys, actually.

But something he said really was interesting to me.

He says, once I'm ready to go back on the apps, I have a lifetime membership to Bumble Premium and pay for Tinder and Hinge. I have a thing about people just using the apps free.

To me, that's a sign to yourself and the universe of how much you value your next relationship. And I want mine to be right. And I'm like, I am never paying for an app.

Mel: Yeah, I, yeah, that's a little.

Suzie: Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I understand where this guy is coming from because obviously he's has a lot of experience. He's 48. You know, he's hoping for something serious.

But like, I'm not gonna judge someone on whether they're paying for the app. Yeah, for me that's kind of bad that the guy is paying for the app because I'm like, well, maybe not, but there's like, it's like he wants to date a lot.

Do you know what I mean? Like, that's what it shows to me. Maybe that's not the right observation for me to take from that. When I'm like, if you have or you pay, if you're paying for this app, that means you want to go on a lot of dates and you want to like,

really like use. You want to use your money's worth.

Mel: What does paying do?

Suzie: It's different on every app.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And I've never paid for an app, so I don't really know. But you know, you get to talk to more people, you get more matches.

Mel: Doesn't cut you off it, it doesn't.

Suzie: Cut you off in the things. Like I think it's.

Mel: How many people are they talking to?

Suzie: Well, exactly. Right. So it's like, it's, it is better to pay on the, on the apps because you get so much more out of the apps. But still it's just like, oh my God, how much more time and energy can you put into this that you're not putting into something else?

You know what I mean?

Mel: Great.

Suzie: So I understand where he's coming from as a 48 year old who wants to be more serious, but at the same time I'm like, I do. That's. I wouldn't. I'm never paying for the app.

Mel: Yeah, I agree.

Suzie: I mean, for women it comes off a little desperate and I'm not saying you are desperate if you're paying for the apps, but that's kind of what it comes off for me.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I don't know.

Mel: I mean, I honestly think you should probably pay for something else. Put your money into something else.

Suzie: Right, exactly.

Mel: For a way to meet women. I know that that's tricky, but I don't know, do something else. What could you do?

Suzie: Pay for some kind of a class, a hobby, anything.

Mel: Dancing.

Suzie: Yeah, it would be nice.

Mel: Take up wine tasting, something. The women. Yeah. Or buy a dog or volunteer and maybe they'll light you with a cute dog.

Suzie: Volunteer. Volunteer somewhere.

Mel: What a good idea. Susie.

Volunteer. Yes. Show your good natured. Do something. Meet people in real life, not in the workplace. Because I know that's got all sorts of problems and I know that's messed up because pretty much everyone I know of my age, in their sort of late 40s to early 50s or even beyond,

they met their partner at work. Right. I didn't, but I met kind of through work. So I met my friend because we worked at a place and then she worked with my husband and then she thought, oh, you'd be a good fit.

So it was kind of through work because that's where you spend your time. When you're young.

Suzie: Right. Yeah.

Mel: And even now. Right. But. And I know that's. That's riddled with legal problems.

Suzie: No, that's okay. Kanye Westman, his wife through work. So that's.

Mel: Yeah. And look what happened.

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Took a long, deep breath there.

So we'll talk about. Hold on.

Okay, let's talk about one more. I think I want to chat about with you.

Or maybe two more if we have the time. But. So there's this other guy, and he's in his 30s. Okay. So he's trying to get serious. He loves food. He says he's a big, whiny, whiny.

He loves wine, foodie.

But. So. So he was going on this date with this girl, and she brought her friend without saying anything.

Mel: That's just weird.

Suzie: And then he ghosted her.

Mel: Or.

Suzie: Sorry, she ghosted him.

Mel: That's weird.

Suzie: She ghosted him after the. After the date. Yeah. Unless you're, like, expecting this to be a threesome. Do not bring your girlfriend.

Mel: There are apps for that.

Suzie: Yeah. Do not bring your girlfriend to the first date.

Mel: I mean, what is wrong with you? How old are you?

Suzie: If I. If. If I was.

Mel: That's weird.

Suzie: If I was literally on a. Going on a date with a guy and he had brought his friend, I'd get up, I'd get the ****.

Mel: Well, not that I'm going on dates, but I'd get up and walk out.

Suzie: I don't know what I would do.

Mel: What's wrong with you?

Suzie: It would be so weird.

Mel: It's offensive. That is offensive.

Suzie: It would be so weird. Like, unless he was like, oh, sorry, this is just my friend.

Mel: He.

Suzie: I saw him in the doorway. He's waiting for someone. It would just be, like, the weirdest thing.

Mel: No, it's clearly. She brought her friend to ******* eat.

Suzie: Good Food and drink wine and ****.

Mel: Off and go clubbing. So, like, she was like, oh, God, I've got on this date, fine, let's do this. Blah, blah, blah. And then we're skedaddling and you're like, that's just rude, isn't it?

Suzie: Yeah, no, it's not. Good.

Mel: And then you just give everyone a bad rep, don't you? No, you don't. I just, you know, I think that's. That's just part of the problem. It's like everyone's just got all these bad experience.

Does anybody have a good experience on a dating app? Well, somebody must. Well, no.

Suzie: So my brother is getting married.

Mel: Oh. Well, they. From meeting his. And where did they meet?

Suzie: Fiance on Tinder, of all places.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: So it's.

Mel: How long have they been. How long have they been together?

Suzie: And my actual.

Mel: My.

Suzie: Sorry, one second. My cousin also met her husband on Hinge. And my. So my brother met his fiance in 2020 or 2020. 2020.

Mel: So maybe the apps are in a different space.

Suzie: Well, so everyone. Everyone was on the apps in 2020. Right. Because we're all just, like, desperate for attention.

Mel: But it was more. It wasn't new because, I mean, I know people who met on J Date and all sorts of stuff back in, you know, you know, 10 years before that.

But I think it wasn't so talked about. And everyone wasn't so fatigued by the whole thing.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: It was a slightly different. Everyone was just like, oh, God. You know, and there weren't these stories of people going on apps, coming off them, deleting them, you know, I think it was less.

Yeah. Fatiguing.

Suzie: So. Yeah. So I definitely know couples and family members who have.

Mel: I do. From way back, from the beginnings of it. I don't know, recently that I do, but that's weird.

Suzie: I mean, like, so there are good stories out there.

Mel: The thing I don't understand is, like, you know, my daughters are 20s, late teens kind of thing, and they meet people in real life.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So why have they figured it out?

Suzie: I don't know. I'm determined. Like, this is why I'm off the apps. I'm determined to meet someone and I'm not ready for a relationship right now.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But like, closer to maybe the summer or like in the fall or something. I.

I'm determined to meet someone in real life or, like, get set up by one of a friend or like.

Mel: Okay, yeah.

Suzie: Do you know what I mean?

Mel: Like, I'm just.

Suzie: I'm not. I'm not meeting my. I Just, I'm not putting the energy out there that I have to be on the apps to meet someone that I like. Like, that's not happening for me.

Mel: It's like the weirdest thing. It's like, people use these apps because they're weird. Going into the world and meeting, like a psychopath.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But then the apps seem to be filled with sociopaths and psych.

Suzie: So the guys I've met on the apps are not bad guys. They're just not right.

Mel: And I just.

Suzie: Maybe I just wasn't on enough dates.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And this brings me to my next guy.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I want to just chat about really quick.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Is.

He says this guy's 31. He says I swiped right on hundreds of women and heard nothing. And I'm like, maybe it's a new problem.

But.

So he says men get a bad rap on dating apps, and probably rightly so. But that doesn't mean women are perfect. The numbers are in their favor. Remember, there are far more men on the apps, so the women are the ones with all the power.

Mel: Is that true?

Suzie: More men? For sure. Because women like me are ******* sick of it.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And men. It's so easy for a man to be on the app. And, like, just anyone who.

Mel: But that's.

Suzie: Men in general will give them attention. They love it. Right. So it's like.

Mel: I mean, you really have to be.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: A hideous, total.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Loser drop out in life to not find a girlfriend. Like everyone. Men in jail find women to marry.

Suzie: I know. It's crazy.

Mel: You know, I know women will always go for a man. I. You know, I. I know.

Suzie: But. So this is the thing, what men do, and I know men do this because I've seen it happen. Right. Is men will just swipe right on everyone.

They don't look at profiles. They're just like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

Mel: Quality over quality.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: And they think, well, I do it.

Suzie: As long as one comes back, I'll be okay.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: So, I mean, he says that maybe it's because he didn't pay for the premium service on one, Whatever the app he was.

But, yeah, he says he swiped right on hundreds and he saw nothing. But it's also like, maybe you just weren't putting the right energy out into the app. Maybe your profile wasn't great when you didn't have the right pictures.

There's so many things a man can do that they don't understand to make women want. Because women study a man's profile.

Mel: Yeah, but that's women. But this is What I'm saying, it's.

Suzie: Like, men don't understand that women study the profile because men don't. Men just.

Mel: But when you swipe, does it just go ding, ding, and you're Matt. What happens?

Suzie: It depends on the app.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: But it's like, if I, like, when I was on the apps, if I got. You know, if I was swiping,

literally, if a guy had the wrong prompt or, like, had the wrong answer, I'm like, this guy's a loser. He might be a super nice guy.

Mel: And just broke and just wrote.

Suzie: And I'm just like, ben, if you are listening and you are on the apps and you are struggling, just review your profile.

Mel: I have an idea. Get a woman friend to write it.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Because I can. This happened to somebody. I know that he got a woman to write it, and he's married.

His friend wrote it, and then he met somebody and they're married. Right. Get a woman to write it.

Suzie: Seriously. It actually makes a huge difference because women are so. We study this **** because also, we are so careful about the men we go on dates with because we don't want to be murdered.

Mel: Yeah. It's key.

Suzie: And so we. If it's like. If you're saying, like, a stupid joke on your profile, you think it's funny. And most women don't think this. You know, we just take things more seriously in general.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Just be a little more cautious. Because you're trying to get first dates. Right? Like, you are trying to get first dates. These are first impressions. This is your first impression.

Mel: And this is the whole problem with the apps.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Men are simple. I think most men would say they're very simple. They just want sex, food, probably some beer, pizza, football. I mean, that's pretty much it.

Suzie: Totally.

Mel: I mean, most men are pretty simple.

Suzie: Oh, my God. They are.

Mel: Whereas women. Many layers around that onion.

Suzie: Too many.

Mel: Yeah. And then it goes into the. Analyzing the.

And men just don't do that. They don't. They don't manically analyze all this stuff. They're just like, okay, Right. Fine. Kind of thing, you know? And that's the problem with the apps is it's not.

I'm surprised that somebody has not figured this out.

Suzie: I feel like they have. Men are just. Sorry, guys. Maybe you're a little lazy and you just throw together something.

Mel: Yeah, but that's men, isn't it? Right. And that's fair. Like, men don't have to, like, you think about the date itself. Let's say you're a very attractive man, all you have to do is get in the shower,

put some deodorant on. That'd be nice. Nice aftershave. Put a decent shirt on. Doesn't even have to be expensive. Nice pair of, you know, trousers, pants, whatever you want to call them.

Nice pair of shoes,

smell nice. Don't have to worry about jewelry turn up. That's it. I mean, that's it. That's 20 minutes max.

And it doesn't have to be expensive. Woman. Jesus Christ. What does she have to do? She has to have wax at least now, nails done. Yeah. All that has happened before.

Eyebrows, hair. Oh, yeah, yada yada. All the upkeep and then getting ready your hair, your makeup. Then the agony over the outfit, you know, does. Is this too much even just coming.

Suzie: To see you, Mel?

Mel: Well, there you go.

Suzie: Well, this is the thing, right? The amount. I mean, it's just you, of course. Little old me. No, the amount of energy and time we put in. Women put in.

Mel: Yeah. To I go see my friends and, you know, I'm having lunch. I don't just turn up like, I'm.

Suzie: Now bag of whatever dirt.

Mel: Yeah. I've done my hair, I put makeup on and I'm just. It's just for me. And I know all women aren't like that, and that's fair enough. And I'm just. Well.

Suzie: Cause some women are naturally gorgeous and we're just, you know, these trolls until.

Mel: No, but I mean, the point is most women have to do something to be like, really attract, you know, men don't really understand that men don't have to do anything. So that if you think about just the preparation for the date, what the woman has to go through and what the man has to go through,

and then you back that into like the profiles. And it tells you everything, doesn't it? It really does. And men are just like, yeah, get that up. That'd be fine.

That'll be fine. That'll do.

Suzie: Blah, blah, you guys, if you want to send us your dating profile.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: We will edit them for you.

Mel: Well, Susie will, because you're very good at this.

Suzie: Yeah, I actually will. I've done this for multiple of my guy. Yeah, I will.

Mel: And have they got good dates out of it?

Suzie: You know what? That's a good question. I haven't like, followed up in that way, but these guys are like, my guy friends are cute and the way.

Mel: That they like advertise themselves is not good.

Suzie: Is not good. Yeah. So. And women, our standards are not that high.

Mel: No, you don't have to be a bulky billionaire.

Suzie: We are so happy to date a kind of goofy, clean, weird, clean guy.

Mel: Nice guy, kind guy.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And guy who. And you don't have to be the president of whatever. Just you've got a job. That's helpful. Yeah, obviously, if you can pay for dinner, that's helpful.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: And it doesn't have to be in a, you know, Michelin star restaurant. Just be a nice place. And that, that's the thing. And I think. I think we've solved it. We've solved it as we do.

Suzie: As we do every episode.

Mel: So that's it. That's the solution.

Suzie: Okay, guys, send us your dating profile. Send us your nasty little February 14th stories. Valentine's Day,

we'd love to hear from you. And we can't wait to chat with you next week.

Mel: I know. We love you.

Till next time.

Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

Suzie: Three, two, one.