Mel: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all.

Suzie: We do 1234.

Mel: Hello, and welcome back to sharing my truth pod. Oh, Mel is finally vibing to my theme song. Hey, guys, you're here with Mel and sues, and we are here to remind you to give this cute little pod, like, subscribe comment.

Suzie: Positive feedback.

Mel: Positive feedback. Positive feedback. Don't call us, you know, two sons of ******* when we are just your friends.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: And we just want positive feedback.

Suzie: We do. We do.

Mel: Yeah. Just go to Sharemytruth pod on the instas and the socials to hang out with us there. Or you can go to sharemytruth.com and you guys can leave us cute voicemails, Youtubes. Don't forget the YouTube babes.

Suzie: Go to the tubes.

Mel: Go to the tubes. And not my uterine tubes.

Suzie: That's a good plan. Don't do that.

Mel: Okay, well, hi, babes.

Suzie: Hello. Hello.

Mel: How are you?

Suzie: Fabulous. I mean, it's sun, it's sunny. It makes a huge difference. Today it was, like 30 degrees in Toronto.

Mel: Oh, God.

Suzie: It looks. It is very, very hot. It's a little hot for this little old english lady.

Mel: Is it too hot?

Suzie: No, it's fine. I like the heat.

Mel: You do like the heat?

Suzie: I love the heat. I do really like the heat. And so I'm totally fine with it.

Mel: I know. It's so good. I have a rooftop that I frequent, like, on my little apartment, and, like, what am I trying to say? And it's so good. Like, I have my plants up there now, and it's like, just the sun is beating on you, and I'm definitely gonna get melanoma. But I'm like, it's worth it.

Suzie: Do you wear a hat?

Mel: That's a silly question. But I do wear sunscreen.

Suzie: Kind of wear the hat sometimes. You'll regret it later.

Mel: Yeah, it's a good idea. But I just like my freckles.

Suzie: Yeah, they're poppin'I'm. Sure they are, but they are. Yeah, but, you know, I know when they. When you're young, nobody ever listens to that.

Mel: No, they don't.

Suzie: I mean, we literally put, like, butter on ourselves to get, you know, browner.

Mel: I would do that.

Suzie: I mean, don't. Please don't do that. Now, that's a very bad idea. On baby oil was the people used.

Mel: To put Coca Cola on themselves? Ever heard of that one?

Suzie: No.

Mel: Those are my farming friends back in Alberta. That's what they did.

Suzie: What the hell's that. Is that like a pretend fake tan? What is it?

Mel: I don't know. They put it out, and then they'd tan. They'd bake in the Coca Cola, and it would make them brown.

Suzie: Really?

Mel: That's what farm girls did.

Suzie: Um, baby oil was a big thing.

Mel: Baby oil. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Still big thing.

Suzie: Which is absolutely terrible.

Mel: Oh, yes.

Suzie: It's like roasting a chicken. Please don't do it.

Mel: Delicious.

Suzie: And now I'm 51 and I cover myself. In fact, a 50. And everyone's like, what are you, some kind of albino?

Mel: Big sun hat.

Suzie: Exactly. I hate sun hats.

Mel: I want a huge one that, like, is a sombrero, maybe. And then they can have, like, chips and dip up there. The life of the party. Yeah.

Suzie: Little cocktail. I do find it problematic because I can never find a nice hat. I hate myself in hats.

Mel: If you guys have a hat company that you guys want to send us cool hats, I'll wear them.

Suzie: Yeah, I will wear them. I like a cap. If I'm, like, going for a walk, baseball cap. And that's the only kind of hat that I like, and I don't really wear them very much.

Mel: Well, we'll get you a nice one.

Suzie: Yeah. Okay.

Mel: **** on it.

Suzie: Yeah. Slag.

Mel: Big slag. Oh, my God. Can we actually do that? Okay, maybe I will. Anyways, let's stop talking about this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, to do with slags. No, I'm just kidding.

Suzie: But yeah.

Mel: So our episode today is really about. I was reflecting with Mel.

Suzie: You were stopped.

Mel: And I reflected.

Suzie: You were being very pensive.

Mel: Very. And I was like, I know. Like, since I'm a single gal now in the big to. And I am in. I work in the, like, financial district of Toronto where there's honestly a lot of guys who are, like, my type. Guys in suits, guys who are looking cute. Blue eyes. Finance.

Suzie: Trust fund.

Mel: Trust fund. Very much so. Trust men. Yeah. They're older. They look good. They take care of themselves. They have money. These are kind of guys. And I'm like, man, I know I'm cute. Okay. I'm not gonna lie about it, guys. Okay. I know I'm a cute little person in the city, and I'm like, but men don't approach women anymore like they used to. And I'm not saying that that's a good or a bad thing, but is the reality that we are living in because we have. We as in women have kind of made it maybe a little scarier.

Suzie: Very.

Mel: For men, very scary to approach women. Cause they don't wanna offend us. And you know what's so funny?

Suzie: Got arrested.

Mel: That I'm actually just thinking about it right today. Oh, my God. This actually, I was getting on the streetcar. I was waiting for the streetcar, and this guy actually did approach me, but he wasn't from Canada. He had an accent of some sort, and he was way too young, and he was not my type, but I was like. He was like, I have to know your name and where you're from.

Suzie: And I was like, is he french?

Mel: I don't know what the **** he was, but I was like. I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm just not interested. I wasn't about to have this conversation. I had my headphones in. I was like, don't. You know? You know? But then I'm the problem I'm talking about.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: You know, and I'm like, oh, my God. Men. This is why you're not approaching us.

Suzie: Yeah, I've actually.

Mel: Scary.

Suzie: Yeah. I've had this conversation with a few men that I know who are older, who are dating, and it's very difficult. And we've actually had quite a few comments on our YouTube about this, that. Saying that it's much easier to. For women to date than it is for men. And specifically on the apps and stuff like that. And I thought that. What a wild comment. But I think it is really difficult for men because you can't meet in a work situation anymore because.

Mel: Oh, yeah. You do not want to get an HR complaint on that.

Suzie: Yeah. And that's just, you know, and that's loaded with whatever. And then men will be worried that if you approach them, you think they're like some kind of weirdo or creep or whatever. I think it is incredibly difficult, which is. Which is why the apps are so strong, powerful. Sorry. Is because men think that if you're on the app, then on the apps, then it's kind of. You've gone through that process, and you have basically, you've said, I'm dating. You know, you've stripped away that layer of don't offend me. Right. Yeah, you're on the apps. And so a lot of men are on there. And, you know, you've shown me pictures of guys on hinge. You think, why the **** is that guy on hinge? What does he need to do that for? But then it's his problem. How does he meet someone?

Mel: Yeah, because he's not gonna go and talk to a woman in person.

Suzie: But what about in bars, like, at the weekend if you're out?

Mel: I swear to God, I have not got approached by a guy who I am attracted to in a bar in a very long time.

Suzie: What's the point in going to a bar?

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: I mean. Sorry. Let's strip it down to the bear.

Mel: The bear bross tax? Yes. I don't know. And that's so funny you say the apps. Cause the apps are much more. Much easier for women than they are men. Because we have so much more choice for men. I feel like there's not as much choice. Cause women are very. A lot pickier with pictures, and we are just, like. We kind of have to pick a litter, obviously. But, like, what's funny about the apps is that, obviously, like, there's a thing called Bumble. Right. Where women make the first move.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it's like, that was a thing. Cause it's like, you know, let's ******* have empowerment. Or however they wanted to market it. I hate bumble. I'm not making the ******* first move on an app. I don't know. I just want to.

Suzie: Do men go on Bumble?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Okay. And what kind of, like, a big thing?

Mel: I don't know. I'm not on it.

Suzie: Are they, like. Yeah, somebody let me know. Is it, like, the same type?

Mel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it differs on all the apps. I don't think it differs. I think it's just, like. I think it's, like, different kind of women are on bumble. Like, I'm just. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. But I don't think it's as popular anymore. Like, I think hinge is much more popular for whatever reason.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Not that I'm a huge fan of any of the apps, because I just find them exhausting.

Suzie: Yeah. Well, we've said this before in episodes and conversations we've had and conversations with other people is. I think the apps. You lose so much, don't you? Because, like, obviously, you're looking. And particularly women, you're looking at photos, and you go, no, no, no.

Mel: So shallow. We're also.

Suzie: Exactly. And also, it may just be that guy was nervous and he's taken these stupid photos. It could be any numb. Myriad of things. Right. And you're just making this quite big decision. I'm not going to date this person based on one photo. I mean, I know that some are, like, glaringly horrendous, but, I mean, it is a big. Isn't it? You know, a big. Like, you're literally probably 85%, maybe more. You're just going, no, no, no. And then, like I said before, I've said many times, I just think, you know, far too much information about the person. You don't need to know that this person likes drinking, whatever. They like drinking, that they like hiking, that they, like, you know, want to go on vacation to Italy. I mean, who gives a ****? That's the point of the conversation.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: I mean, vaguely that you're attracted to them. That's basically all you need, isn't it, for a first time?

Mel: I know, yeah.

Suzie: I mean, do you need all this information?

Mel: Because people are also going on, I feel like, more blind dates and more dates of, like, friends setting them up with people, which I honestly would do, that I would go on a date where my friends would set me up.

Suzie: Well, that's the old fashioned way of doing it.

Mel: Right? That sounds like way better to me because you're, you've already, your best friends have already vetted them.

Suzie: Hopefully that's what happened to me and my husband.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: So we didn't, like, the first date wasn't, it wasn't a date was in a group of people, but my friend who was my friend and Max's friend, but, like, we. We hadn't sort of met through her because I worked with her, and then we become really good friends, and then she went and worked with Max, and they became friends, and she's like, oh, I know this woman, this girl. You're like, I suppose I was a girl then. And then she basically did kind of set it up. And then we met, and it wasn't a mega setup, but it was a. And then afterwards, Max was like, oh, can I have her phone number to my friend? My friend's like, I'm gonna have to check. Oh, give her back to me. Very proper check back to him. Yes. Okay. What did you say?

Mel: Were you like oppie? Or were you like, oh, my God, no, I can't do it. I don't think he's my type.

Suzie: No, I couldn't do that then. And, you know, it is a good way because then also your friend's done it, so, you know, he's probably not a psychopath or a serial killer, which is helpful.

Mel: You'd hope so.

Suzie: You'd hope so. You know, so that's good. But I think it helps kind of break the eye. It makes it easier, you know, that kind of thing. And it's interesting that if people are going back to that because so he.

Mel: Kind of, like, made the first move then, because he was like, I'm gonna ask.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Her number.

Suzie: He did.

Mel: Or, like, when you guys met.

Suzie: Yeah, he called me. Yes.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah. He made the first move because I don't think in those days. So this is going back 25 years, I wouldn't have asked a guy on a date.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Not doing that.

Mel: See, here's the thing. Like, when I was, you know, in my. Before I met my boyfriend that I had for a really long time, like, I was, like, early, early twenties or, like, 18. 1920 kind of thing, I would always make the first move and I felt like it was, like, super. I don't know if I felt it was, like, empowering or if I was just like, I know I'm cute. I'm gonna ask this guy out and then, you know, we're gonna hook up or whatever.

Suzie: What was your patter? What did you say? Yeah, your patter. Your little chit chat.

Mel: I have no. I honestly, I can't really remember what I would do or say, but I. If it was in a bar, I would 100. Like, I would buy them a shot. Like, I would do these things.

Suzie: Would you do that thing like you see in the movies where you're at one end of the bar and you send the drink over?

Mel: Yes, of course.

Suzie: Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

Mel: I actually.

Suzie: It was the funniest.

Mel: It was actually. I've, like, also women, we have. We do. We have this amazing thing where we can kind of make the first move with our eyes.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Which is a thing.

Suzie: It is a thing.

Mel: It's a thing. And I did that with this one guy who was so cute. And I did this with this one guy and then this other guy tried to come talk to me and me. And this other guy had already made this eye contact. So this weird guy who was trying to talk to me, the guy who I was looking at across the bar came over and kind of saved me because we already had this, like, eye care.

Suzie: What did he say?

Mel: He was like, oh, my. He was like, I think he came over and he looked at me and then he was like, oh, hey. It's so good to see you. Like, he was like, my friend. And I was like, oh, my God. Wow. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I have to talk to my friend. And I was getting. I got out of that situation, right? So that is really smooth.

Suzie: And that's very smooth. Very.

Mel: We were friends for a while after that. We, like, just hooked up and we became friends. It's just like. But I feel like **** doesn't happen like that anymore. Why doesn't it happen?

Suzie: Because I think particularly for men, they're just terrified and, you know, so sad. It is sad because, like, in everything, we go too far with everything, right? Like you try and correct something that's not right in society and like everything, we have to go too far and sort of mess it up. Yeah. Because you think about how many people, certainly in the old days, I mean, I don't know. What happens today is that people met. I mean, the statistics are huge. Like most people, I mean, everybody I know met their partner at work because that's where you spent your time. So obviously that's where you met the person. I mean, I didn't, but that's relevant.

Mel: Partner. Yeah, but were they working together with someone? Was working for them or like how. What do you mean? Like secretary boss? Like, what do you.

Suzie: No, not generally. Not that generally. Like just colleagues.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And when you're younger, you know, you're working in environment, you're going, I suppose, especially the difference, I think with North America and particularly in the UK, as we've discussed before, like, it's really sociable in the UK, you have to go for drinks after work. It doesn't matter what you do for a job, you cannot not do it. It's like there's something wrong with you. Wow. It's just not the done thing. So you socialize with your work colleagues and your friends and every. So you have to go for drinks. You just don't have a choice, really. So then of course you're gonna have a few too many drinks. You're gonna. Yeah. So obviously **** your boss. Obviously. Maybe. Never happened to me. I never had an attractive boss and I always were. All my bosses were men. Bar, maybe one. And they were never attractive. Ugh, God, thinking about you. But anyway, no, I'd say most of my friends met people at work, but not necessarily superiors, just kind of people at work, because that's where you spend your time. You spend a huge amount of your time, especially when you're younger, because you don't have to rush off for things and you stay for drinks and stuff like that. I mean, God, when I was young in the city, like, of London, like, you go out until really, really late and, you know, sort of a couple of times come back to work in the same place.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You know, because you've been out literally all night and you're just absolutely, I mean, the next day is shockingly bad because you're just like, whoa. You know, like your hangovers the size of, you know, a small continent but, yeah. And that's how you meet people, you know? But nowadays there are so many barriers and men are terrified. Yeah. I mean, you think about the amount of men, even recently, and some of it, we may think, oh, that's justified or whatever, but even people get accused of stuff before they've gone to court or anything's happened, like you judged in the, in the court of public opinion. So as soon as somebody says something to you, like you're this, that. That's it, you're done.

Mel: Yeah, and we aren't saying that these things, like, we know we are women. These things happen. And these people should get ******* barred from so much because men are, men can be horrible and disgusting and do really bad things, but it has just.

Suzie: Created, and so can women, of course. Plenty of women who took advantage of situations.

Mel: Well, see, that's the thing also. Right.

Suzie: About that.

Mel: No, we don't talk about that. But I mean, it's.

Suzie: Because for the most part, the other.

Mel: Thing is, like, physical almost. Right. And so the. It's like, it's harder to prove 100%.

Suzie: Well, yeah, I mean, it's mostly men. And also they're bigger and stronger.

Mel: Yeah, whatever, they're fine.

Suzie: But I think that men, you know, just get all, like, lumped in the same kind of. Kind of thing, that they're all bad. And that's really not fair because it's not the case at all. These, like, kind of horrible men. And we won't mention famous names in case we get sued, but they're a really small percentage.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And most men, they may, like, not be marriage material or relationship material, but they're not, you know, revolting creeps. Right. And I think it's very hard. I mean, how do you approach women? I mean, I would think in a bar that or a restaurant, that would be, like, much more sort of like, you're kind of in a social setting. So I find that interesting. If you're in a bar and men aren't coming up, maybe it's just Toronto.

Mel: Also, I feel like there's so many times where there's just been such a, like, it's a vibe and it's fun. And I feel like I still have had to go up to guys and just kind of, like, make that first kind of introduction or kind of like, bump into them by accident on purpose kind of thing where, like, I feel like they don't do it enough or. And there's also the thing where they're not doing it anymore, so they're now bad at it.

Suzie: Oh, so they don't know how to.

Mel: Do it, and they don't know how to ******* do it properly. And then you're like, this guy's ******* annoying, or he's a creep, or because they just don't know how to do it. They don't know how to seduce a woman across the bar anymore.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: That's so frustrating.

Suzie: But you'd think also if you were in a bar and you did the, you know, the old fashioned, sending that drink over there, and all you have to do is if the woman goes, thanks very much. That's all she needs to do. Like, great, and look over and smile. If she doesn't look over and smile, then that's it. It's dead. Yes, but I mean, you'd think that would be, you know, okay, either.

Mel: It's like, and also, men are like, I'm not ******* buying a girl a drink. And I'm like, dude, it's like, $12. Buy a girl a ******* martini. You might have a great night, you.

Suzie: Might not, but that is not the.

Mel: End of the world either way.

Suzie: I mean, that's another whole thing that this whole kind of, you know, women, we can do everything as well as men and blah, blah, blah, is that, you know, you started this whole thing that men are like, okay, then, great, well, you ******* pay for the drink. You take me out for dinner and men, please don't do it. It's super cheap. I mean, just women that are, you know, that you want to date, they're not gonna do that. I mean, you should take. You should what? You should wine and dine a woman. Come on, don't be cheap.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You know, but I do understand why they're kind of, like, why they're not doing it. And you do see a lot of stuff on social media about, well, what is the etiquette for a first date? Like, do you go 50 50? Yeah, I mean, I think that. I think. And I think, you know, I'm old fashioned, and I totally just. I wouldn't even go.

Mel: I mean, like, a lot of people are like, oh, well, it's whoever asked for the date.

Suzie: Oh, please. I'm like, yeah, well, there you go. There's a good point. If you ask a guy on a date. Yeah, but are. Are you asking him on a date or just approaching him, and then it's up to him to be aware of.

Mel: Your financial situation or has some kind of idea that you're not the most, you know, well off person and she still wants to go out with you, one that's a green flag. Like, that she still wants to go out with you and she doesn't care, you know, so whether. If you want to take her to, like, what? Something you can afford, of course, you don't have to do hat doesn't be expensive.

Suzie: Of course.

Mel: You know, if she also was aware, she'll be like, and you want to take her to, like, a nice movie or a nice outing. She'll be like, maybe I'll pay for popcorn. You pay for the movie. Like, there's just things you can do.

Suzie: You can do lots of nice things.

Mel: That are still very gentlemanly and, like, women. I'm sorry, but we want to feel taken care of and some kind of a capacity.

Suzie: Yeah, but I think that's where the issue is. I believe that, and that's the way I live my life. But I think there is huge confusion around that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And men are very confused.

Mel: I mean, I'm a little confused, to be honest.

Suzie: Are women still into that? Are they not? You know, because they want to. They want to provide and they want to work and they want to. So. And I think the answer is every woman is different. And I've said this many times, I wish, particularly as women, we would stop telling other women how to live your life.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So if you want to be CEO of Google, ****, yeah.

Mel: Go, girl.

Suzie: Good for you. And if you want to pay for everything and you want to marry and your husband's a house husband and you're happy with that, brilliant.

Mel: Amazing.

Suzie: Amazing. But I don't want that. That's totally fine. That's completely fine. But you do what you want to do, but stop telling the other women what they should do. So that is part of the problem because we as women also shame other women. Like, we shame women if they stay with a man because he cheats. We shame women if she asked the guy out on a date or, God forbid, she asked him to marry her, or, like, we do a lot of that. Right. So it's kind of confusing because the roles are a little kind of, you know, in this, like, nobody quite knows anymore, do they?

Mel: Yeah. No, we don't. And, like, that's. It just all comes down to, like, how, like, even, like, the older guys who, like, I want to maybe approach me in a way that's respectful, but also, like, I think you're cute. Like, let's maybe **** in a respectful way. Wow.

Suzie: Okay.

Mel: So the buying the drink thing is a very nice gesture. If we're at a bar or something like that. It's a very nice gesture.

Suzie: It's not.

Mel: It's, like, easy peasy. Guys, come on. Don't be ridiculous.

Suzie: And it's only a drink.

Mel: It's only a ******* drink. And, like, approach her first. Even I, obviously, if you don't want to do this weird thing across the bar. Portraits me like.

Suzie: But you got us. What do you say?

Mel: What do you say? I think you say, hey, introduce yourself. My name is Mike.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And then hopefully she says her name back.

Suzie: Yeah. I'm Mike.

Mel: Yeah, I'm.

Suzie: Should we roleplay?

Mel: Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Okay. Hey, I'm Mike.

Suzie: I'm Mike. Nice to meet you.

Mel: What's her name?

Suzie: Sandra.

Mel: It's a beautiful name, isn't it? You know, I see your little loather. Can I buy your next drink?

Suzie: Yeah, sure.

Mel: I'd love to. What do you like?

Suzie: Champagne.

Mel: Oh, champagne. My favorite too. Let's get a bottle of champagne for the lady. That's how you ******* do it.

Suzie: Okay. Date, date, date. Done. Mike, that's the thing. It's like, that's not.

Mel: You gotta ask. Ask her questions.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Like, her ******* name.

Suzie: This isn't about.

Mel: What does she like to drink?

Suzie: Key.

Mel: Not just, hey, let's get two shots of ******* Jameson.

Suzie: Yeah. No, and please don't do. What happened to us recently?

Mel: What?

Suzie: And this was in a. Oh, it was so.

Mel: Oh, my God, I hope this guy's not listening. No, he won't be.

Suzie: It was a sort of. Yeah, it wasn't. What was it? I was a chaperone for you.

Mel: You were not.

Suzie: I'm joking.

Mel: They were not.

Suzie: What would you call the scenario?

Mel: Okay, so, like, my friend was like, hey, my friend. So, okay, my friend's out of that. So we were in London. My friend was like, hey, my other friend lives in London. Like, you know, if you want to, like, hang out with him, he's kind of fun. He's kind of cool, like, whether you want to **** him or not. Like, he's just a fun guy to be with you.

Suzie: Did he actually say that?

Mel: No, he didn't. But it's kind of what I. What I took from it, right? I'm like, great.

Suzie: No problem.

Mel: Would love to meet him. Like, I'm down with meeting new guys, and. And Mel and I were out. I wasn't gonna be like, Mel, leave.

Suzie: This is a date. I said to you, very happy to go.

Mel: And I was like, please do not leave me.

Suzie: And then she.

Mel: I don't know who he is yet. And also, like, I'm just like, I'm not really down to ****. But, like, you know, whatever. Okay, so, yeah, so we were drinking. We were Sancerre.

Suzie: We had a nice bottle of Sancerre.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And we're having a lovely, jolly old time.

Mel: Jolly.

Suzie: And we're coming to the end of our bottle of Sancerre. Yes. And he comes along and he's like, ugh, I don't like Sancerre. Like, oh, so, so sweet.

Mel: And we're like, Sancerre.

Suzie: Yeah. So that was.

Mel: Are you sure, baby? Unless he was sommelier from where?

Suzie: And then he ordered something that neither of us liked that much, so. And then what?

Mel: Are you guys good with Chablis? I'm like, I guess if you're buying it, go ahead, love.

Suzie: What? But what was so funny about it is like 101 of trying to impress.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: Whatever a woman is. Just do whatever she wants.

Mel: Exactly. I mean, first little.

Suzie: Do you give a **** what you're drinking?

Mel: No.

Suzie: It was so absurd.

Mel: It was crazy.

Suzie: And the next day, we had Hugh Chang over.

Mel: Oh, my God.

Suzie: We did. It was bad.

Mel: Yes, we did. Mel fell down.

Suzie: It's not a good situation at all. It wasn't one of my better moments in life. But the point is, is it should be. You're going up to this woman. It's all about her. How amazing and beautiful and whatever she is.

Mel: And don't be creepy. Just be like, hey, I think you're really pretty. Yeah, I'd love to buy you your next drink. And if she says, hey, no, I'm.

Suzie: Good, you can send that and back off. Yeah.

Mel: And because she might have a boyfriend, she might be a lesbian. She might just, like, have her dad just died. She's no idea.

Suzie: She might not be there for that. She might be with friends. You just don't know. But that's the key, is to back off and do not do the whole, like, whinever. Then you just back off.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And also from the woman's point of view, if you think he's nice, well, just have a drink. It's not gonna cost you anything. You don't have to go home with this guy. But I think. Yeah. And also the guy, do not talk about your job.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Unless she asks you questions about your job.

Suzie: Yeah, but don't go into huge amounts of detail. No.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Just. I'm stuck. I'm a trader, I'm a doctor, I'm a parachute jumper.

Mel: Love that.

Suzie: That's it. Great. And then ask her questions about herself. And if you're worried about saying too much about her physicality, because I know men are very worried about that, right. Today you can say, you know, you're really cute. You look really great or something like that. You don't have to be creepy about it. You look really nice.

Mel: Love your eyes.

Suzie: Yeah, that's what my husband said to me.

Mel: Look.

Suzie: See, it works.

Mel: Are you kidding? Are you kidding? There we go. Love your eyes. Eyes are always a great thing.

Suzie: Beautiful eyes.

Mel: You have beautiful eyes. Wow. I just got goosebumps.

Suzie: That's what I said to me, actually. He said, because my surname, not my married name, is a dutch name. My family's Dutch. And so he said, and I wasn't that impressed, to be fair. And he knows this, he said, you have beautiful dutch eyes. No, please.

Mel: Oh.

Suzie: Anyway, I married the guy and had two children with him. So it wasn't that you're still together. It's still together. And it wasn't that bad of a line. But anyway, so, yeah, so just ask.

Mel: Her name, ask what she wants to drink, ask her questions and make her laugh if you can.

Suzie: Yeah. But, you know, the thing is about men and the same as women is if you have a nice vibe, you have a nice vibe. You can't actually sort of fake it.

Mel: No, it's very hard to fake it.

Suzie: You know, that's the problem. And maybe you're not aware of your I kind of vibe if you're not succeeding in doing this. Yeah. And maybe if you're not, you should ask a female friend what the issue is and hopefully they'll be honest.

Mel: Scary. Um, but, yeah, I think that's. That's. Yeah, you just gotta. You just gotta go for it. Okay. But you also have to go into it with no expectations.

Suzie: 100%. That's a very good way of putting it.

Mel: Because if you have expectations being like, this girl's hot, I'm gonna **** her, to name it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it's like, you don't know.

Suzie: But it radiates. But it radiates out of you if you think that. But. So. But going back to the original question.

Mel: Sorry, go ahead. Yeah.

Suzie: Cause we've gone off track again. What is, should girls be making the first move?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: So should they or not?

Mel: I think they should. I think it should be. Don't be, ladies. Don't be afraid to make the first move.

Suzie: Okay.

Mel: If there is a guy over there, maybe he just hasn't seen you. You know, maybe he's. Maybe he is wary of the situation and he is just aware that women can be a little bit, like, hefty on the don't touch me. Get away from me. Yeah. I think it's very cool of women to make the first move. If that's your vibe. And if it's not your vibe, you don't have to do it.

Suzie: So let's say we're going to roleplay.

Mel: Oh, my God, yes.

Suzie: So am I. I'm Pete. So you're coming up to me.

Mel: Okay. Love it.

Suzie: You can be Sally.

Mel: Sally. Love it. Okay.

Suzie: I'm just sitting there having a drink.

Mel: Nice. Hi.

Suzie: Hi.

Mel: Um, what are you drinking?

Suzie: Oh, gin and tonic.

Mel: Oh, very nice. I never liked that gin, you know? Gets me a little loopy. What's your name?

Suzie: What is my name? Pete.

Mel: Pete, I'm Sally.

Suzie: Oh, hi, Sally. Nice to meet you.

Mel: Nice to meet you. Can I. Can I buy an imogen tonic? Sure, I'd love to.

Suzie: Great. Sounds good. Make it a double.

Mel: Let's ****.

Suzie: I'm not sure that's good. Wow.

Mel: I don't know if that's gonna work. We'll see.

Suzie: But you could. I do think you could go up to a guy and say, I think.

Mel: You can go up to an IBM.

Suzie: Buy a drink situation and you see him kind of on his own or whatever.

Mel: He's cute.

Suzie: And you could say, hey, you know, I mean, hey, hi.

Mel: Hey, what have you.

Suzie: Yeah, something like that.

Mel: Love your suit. Hey, where'd you get it? Like, there's easy openers. Yeah, you can do.

Suzie: Busy. Sorry. I've got. Maybe practice some. Yeah, but I think you could just be like, the more natural you are, the better.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: The less, you know, kind of staged and practiced. But hey, you know, noticed you across the room. I don't know. Oh my God, Mel, you. What are you drinking? What?

Mel: Are you having a drink you want to take a glass of.

Suzie: I mean, I love the way I'm doing this because it's not something I do at all. Yeah. Wow. I think you've taken it a step too far.

Mel: I feel like that's what you say in a dirty old bar with a slag across the room.

Suzie: But what you're saying is women need to. Yes, I think women.

Mel: What do you think, Mel? I think women should. And sometimes. I don't think all the time.

Suzie: Yeah, I think sometimes. I mean, why not? I mean, practice. I do think we are in a whole new era, and you can't judge it by, you know, kind of my era. I think it is different. And I think men are very cautious and concerned and whatever. So, you know, if you want to date, you have to do something. Let's be frank. Yeah. But I would say if you're having the drinks and blah, blah, blah, then I think if he likes you, he should then say, hey, do you want to 100% like, hey, whatever, or do you want to grab. I mean, maybe it's not going to.

Mel: Be, I'd love to get your number so we can grab a drink somewhere.

Suzie: So I think it's then if the woman has done all of that, you as the man, then need to do something. You've got the green light. Then say, can I get your number? I'd love to take you out for dinner or drinks or whatever it is.

Mel: And then also, if you do get her number, don't constantly be calling and texting her.

Suzie: No. That'd be. What? Do men do that?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Oh, that's nuts.

Mel: So that's a little bad because maybe she wasn't actually that into it, and she may have just given you a number, and then she was like, maybe I'll call him. And she's drunk, maybe she's busy, so just give her a quick text, like, hey, this is John from last night. So great to meet you. Remember something from last night. So, like, hey, so great to meet you. Love your vibe and your eyes.

Suzie: Don't say that.

Mel: That sounds horrendous, but say something that you remembered about the night that you guys met. I think that's important that she said.

Suzie: And then just leave it.

Mel: And then just leave it. And then hope she texts back.

Suzie: Yeah. I mean, I think people. I mean, it's interesting you say men do that. I think women do that a lot. They sort of go on a first date and then they, like, they become like maniacs.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And you're like, it is like this sort of panic sets in and you're like, no, just move on to the next one. Yep, just keep going. Just keep working.

Mel: There's gonna be a lot of frogs, babes.

Suzie: Research. Just keep doing it.

Mel: Research is very important.

Suzie: It is important. Then you get better at it. Yeah. And look, at the end of the day, what have you got to lose?

Mel: Nothing.

Suzie: Absolutely nothing.

Mel: Absolutely nothing.

Suzie: I mean, maybe a few dollars from buying all those drinks.

Mel: Yeah, and just make sure you wear condoms too, guys, because that's important.

Suzie: But they haven't even got to that cost. You are presumptuous.

Mel: They will.

Suzie: But maybe the second day. Hopefully, yes.

Mel: What are we doing this for?

Suzie: That's true. Or maybe they want to have an enlightening conversation. Susie. No, don't give me a ****.

Mel: Anyway.

Suzie: Okay, so we've resolved the dating problems of the entire world. Who needs hinge?

Mel: I truly believe so.

Suzie: What's that other one called?

Mel: Bumble.

Suzie: No. And the other one?

Mel: Tinder.

Suzie: That's it. Who needs any of that? Just listen to Mel and sue.

Mel: Just listen to Melanie.

Suzie: All your problems are solved.

Mel: Oh, and you're sharing my truth pod.

Suzie: That's it.

Mel: And if you guys have any more dating advice, you can go to sharing my truth pod and tell us about it. We'll share it on the pod next time. And then you can also go to sharemytooth.com and you guys can send us an email about it. Send us a voicemail and tell us how wrong we are, how much we ****** this episode up, how bad our advice is too. Yeah, why not?

Suzie: I'd love some positive feedback. It's only from us. It's what we're, we're not like, it's our opinions. We're not like pretty crazy. I don't know, whatever. You would be dating dating experts.

Mel: I like to think of myself as a dating expert.

Suzie: I think you must be really? Aren't you?

Mel: I mean, I did go to school for it.

Suzie: What?

Mel: The school of life?

Suzie: Oh my God.

Mel: Alright. Is that press?

Suzie: Anyway, that's enough.

Mel: Okay, guys, we'll see you next week.

Suzie: Toodles. Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruth pod. And leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com, to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Mel: Three, two, one. Yeah.