Suzie : Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie : 1, 2, 3, 4.

And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie. Thanks for joining us today. We welcome you if you've your 100th episode or if it's your first.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie : How are you?

Mel: I'm very well, thank you.

Suzie : Oh, she's very well today. That's the most British way of saying I'm not very well at all.

Mel: Yeah, well, she's wearing a lovely little.

Suzie : Cashmere sweater, I think, and, well, a bit cashmere.

Mel: We haven't got long, long to go. Gotta wear it. Yeah.

Suzie : Get it all out of her system. The sweaters. Schwer. Yeah, because it's really. It's getting. It's getting pretty exciting out there. It's bikini season.

Mel: Steady on, steady on. Like Canadians are crazy about this kind of stuff. They, you know, and sort of like.

Suzie : Hits 12 degrees Celsius and then you're like, done.

Mel: Yeah. You're like, pull that back a bit. Yeah, yeah.

Suzie : Well, talking about bikinis or a full piece.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : What do you prefer?

Mel: Well, that's a good question. I think in days gone by, I preferred a bikini. As the years roll on and the rolls roll on, I'm more into a.

Suzie : One piece, you see, and I love. Well, right. And if she's alone, she goes in the nude. I'll just say that I do in Europe.

Mel: You don't need to worry about it.

Suzie : And that's her right.

Mel: That's my right. Put him private. Nobody's looking at me. Well, well ****** on them.

Suzie : And that brings us into the conversation. I want to say.

Mel: It does.

Suzie : Choice. Choice, Mel.

Mel: Choice. I love it.

Suzie : Choice. Rights. Of your **** hanging out and what is that called? Feminism.

Mel: Yeah. So we've been having a lot of conversations lately.

Suzie : God, have we ever, on our own.

Mel: Shut the hell up about it on our Instagram. But we've had lots of convenations, conversations, general about, you know, male and women. Male and women. God, I can't speak today. Men and women, the roles that they play.

How this has switched up feminism. People being angry about feminism. Like lots of conversations about this. Right. And we, because we're two women and we make, if we make comments about men.

Yeah.

Suzie : Just show you if you want.

Mel: No, I'm definitely a woman.

You know, obviously they get a little upset because, like, what do you know? You're not, you're not a man. Right. You're a woman. And I'm like, no, I know that.

But I can still have a, an opinion based on many observations.

Suzie : Well, because I think women and gentlemen, this isn't a dig to you.

Mel: No.

Suzie : Women tend to be more empathetic.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : In their daily life.

More understanding to men as well. And we deal with a lot of men in our life. Not only do we have fathers and brothers, but we have to. Most of our, you know, unfortunately, like bosses are, whatever are men and we deal with a lot of men in the day and age and we're in male centric environments and all of these other things.

It's very hard to just be in a female environment and we have to know how to deal with men and your emotions,

to put it lightly.

Mel: Yeah, I mean, I think you make a lot of observations and you're right. And I think that's a very good way of putting it. Putting it is that women probably observe a bit more and are more interested.

Like I always, for example, if my husband goes out with a friend and I say, oh, how they're doing, what's going on in their life, blah, blah, blah, he'll have been out with them for four hours.

He has no information on them whatsoever. He's like, oh, we took, what did you talk about? Four hours? The hockey or the football or whatever. They don't talk about stuff.

Women tend to talk about stuff for good or for bad. And so we, I think we make a lot of observations and we observe things and obviously we observe things about men and we've talked a lot about dating and how problematic this is in today's world and how the roles of men and women in,

in the last, you know, really, it's quite a long time now. Sort of the last 70 years have really changed and this has perhaps caused some confusion.

Suzie : Well, I also just want to bring up like some guys and even my brother be like, this is a long other story. But like a lot of men don't realize if we have, if we're brought up by women, like we have mothers growing up, our mothers will always warn us about men from a very young age.

And it's just a normal Thing that women have to know, you know, don't walk alone at night if you can help it. Don't wear headphones at night, make sure that you have keys or some kind of available weapon if you need it, like hopefully, thank God, like there's no wood here to knock.

But you know, we are taught from a, like a very young age, you know, don't be alone with a man if, like it's not a necessity, like if you're a child.

Like there's so many things women are literally taught and they're still taught because there are dangers from being a woman and to just being in the presence of a man.

And I'm not saying, we're not saying all men are doing this. No, but it is always a man.

Mel: Yeah. And men are, and this is controversial, biologically stronger. And so if you're out and about, something's going to happen, you know, could happen. And it is going to more likely to be a man against a woman.

And we've noticed there just seems to be an awful lot of anger but coming from men and from women and that in some bizarre way we see a lot of quite misogynistic comments, almost like it's becoming more misogynistic amongst young men and that they're blaming the more modern waves of feminism and not really understanding that that's very different from the original feminism.

And I think the question we have today is, you know, are women, which young men are really accusing them of? Have they become quite narcissistic in their what they want?

Like basically they want the rich guy, they want the good looking guy, but they don't want to pay for dinner, they don't want to work, they don't want to like they want their cake and eat it, which is what we're feeling.

We're hearing, right, that a, a lot of, let's say young men, we'll call them younger men, feel that younger women kind of want it all. So they don't wanna do what the previous generations of women did, have children, cook, clean, but be what they perceive to be submissive.

Right. And then younger men are saying, well hang on a second, but you still want us to be the main provider of wealth for different reasons, often because women have children, therefore they might take some time off.

So hang on, isn't that hypocrisy? So is that driving these men into being even more misogynistic?

Suzie : Well, it's very hard when women some like as some feel and we kind of sort of have to do this sometimes we have to go into more extreme thoughts of like, okay, I've had so many bad experiences with men.

And so it is like, you know, once you have bad experiences with something, it's like someone who just got bit by a dog might be afraid of their, a dog for the rest of their life.

So like, obviously that's not a great example. We know you're not all dogs, but you know, you have a bad experience with something and you might have PTSD or there's all these other horrible events that can come from that.

And so, you know, we have to, we, we try to go to these extremes of like you know, being like we're equal.

Mel: We.

Suzie : But we also, it's not equal. We need equity because we're still the ones carrying the babies. Like you're saying, like it, there's so many differences still between men and women and like you're saying they are biologically stronger.

Most likely. That's why there's special defense, like self defense courses for women because we need to know how to maneuver a man if we need to. So we're getting, I'm getting very dark and deep about this, but it's, I mean it's all truth.

Like if, if someone attacks you, whether they are a man or a woman,

you're going to have some kind of reaction to that.

That might take you to, you know, where you think, what you think about in the future from the sexes perspective. That made sense.

Mel: Yeah, yeah.

Suzie : Like it's, it's, it's just something that we have to live with and we have to understand our differences to actually come together more. And I think that's the problem.

Mel: That's, I think that's exactly the point is that we see this time and time again because of what we're doing with this pod. And we have lots of conversations with people and lots of people approach us and we have lots, lots of conversations, men and women.

And it just seems incredibly confused. And you feel like if we could all just have a conversation and just kind of step back. So stop the rage from men to women saying.

Because they're also saying the same thing. They're saying, I've had this bad experience. Like, you know, I've taken this girl on a date and she's literally kind of fleeced me and gone to this expensive restaurant.

Expensive restaurant, absolutely. And then doesn't want to pay and then doesn't ghost me and all this kind of stuff. And that, that's happening a lot. Or the expectations of young women from young men are very, very high.

Yet they want equality. And these young men are going, hang on a second. Equality is equality. That means we pay 50, 50 kind of thing. And. But then the women are like, hang on a second.

No, you know, so, no, we want you to pay because you're the man. So we want you to be strong.

Suzie : In my opinion, if a man does not pay on the date, it's not a date.

Mel: I agree. But I think I.

Obviously I'm a halter than you, and I'm perhaps in some ways more traditional. But even in my case, I, you know, I'm 52 now. I went to. When I went to school, I went to a really feminist girls school in England.

And every day they drummed into you. And this is like in the. What would this be? The 80s drummed into you. You're as good as a man and you can do anything a man can do.

And.

And this is kind of. This is what they call second wave feminism. Honestly, they went on about it every sing. And it was a school for. You had to be academically quite, you know, bright to go there.

Suzie : Yeah, you're a bright girl, very bright girl.

Mel: So. But you know what they failed. All these women teaching us, failed to tell us is, oh, and then you'll have a baby and it might change, right? You know, you're gonna have to take some time off or you're gonna have to.

Even if you don't take time off. Cause I personally didn't take any time off. It's a nightmare juggling all these things in your life that become all that are all conflicting.

And as a modern woman, we were taught we can do it all. You can cope with all these things. You can look fantastic. Your husband thinks, you know, you're a supermodel.

You can be, you know, one baby hanging off one *** kind of half an hour and then sort of change into a ball gown, go out, and then. And next morning I'm girl boss, superwoman.

It's not. It's not real. It doesn't. Nobody has that capacity to be all those things. And I think in turn, women do not understand. I don't think we do. It's taken me a lifetime to understand that men also have all these different things going on in their minds.

Worrying about providing, succeeding,

finding a woman they'll love. All this stuff goes on that they never talk about. And then even if they're with a woman, they're constantly worried about stuff that we don't as women, I don't think give a lot of value to that.

Cause if they don't say it, we're like, well, you're not saying it's. So we don't hear it. So we're not. We don't care. Whereas women, we talk all the time about stuff.

Do you know what I mean?

Suzie : Yeah. So, I mean, like, my mom, I think she's a little bit older than you, but, you know, she was raised in the same way where it's like,

you have to have your career, and this is just the way she was raised. You have to have your career. And she had a really great career. And then she obviously had two babies.

And I remember being at the office with her because she owned her own business, and that was obviously very hard for our family. Like, we had to. You have to support the one who's making the money.

And obviously my parents both worked and it's. Yeah, it was. It was really tough. And obviously I wish she was home more and, like, thinking about that, like, as an adult.

But, oh, my God, am I so grateful that we have, like, now money in the family because she worked.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : And now it's. It's just really hard to balance that. Like, I can't even imagine having to done what she did, which is, like, so much. But you can't not take that away from women if they don't want to.

Mel: Like, that's the hardest part about it, a hundred percent. I think that's the thing that's been lost that I think the most important thing I've learned going through,

you know, having children, working, you know, being a wife, all those different elements, is that the most important thing to me is choice, is having the choice. I'm lucky that I married a man who was very accepting of whatever choice I made.

And he is very traditional in the sense. He's all about. He's the rock. He doesn't talk about his emotions very much. He's the provider. That's his thing. He's like, I've got to deal with all of that.

And he takes a lot on and he doesn't talk about it. And I don't think. I think it took me a long time to realize that. I'm like, oh, you're not in.

You're not connected to your emotions to me enough. Yeah, but you're. But actually, you're trying to deal with a lot of stuff, but you don't want to put it on me because you don't want to worry me because I'm just going to, like, analyze every thing.

Whereas.

Suzie : As a woman does.

Mel: Yeah, whereas he's much better at dealing with all these sort of issues. That is not to say, because I know, well, somebody will come for me and say, that's bullshit, or you're generalizing.

And obviously these are generalizations because every woman and every man is a different person. But on the whole, I'm saying to you, observations from me, like you said, of the different men I know in my life, the different relationships I've had, and I would say on the whole, the men that I've known that I've dated,

you know, my father, my relatives, my husband, are men who've been fairly high achievers.

So that is another whole aspect.

And I know that that is very. A very difficult thing, too, because I think a lot of women are asking all men to be all things, and all men are asking all women to be all things, and it's not necessary.

Suzie : I think what's really amazing and what's kind of this kind of ultra feminism has brought out, too, and this kind of scary misogyny we're seeing is, like,

the conversations that I'm having with my guy friends or, like, you know, just like men that I go out with. And I've had way, way more good relationships with men that have had bad relationships, which is, like, amazing.

And, like, thank God. Thanks, guys, for being so nice. But, like, it is just like the conversations that I'm having with these guys,

it's like they are actually interested now in seeing from somewhat of a woman's perspective, and they're so much more interested in having these conversations with women. If women are open to having these conversations.

I think that's a big part of it, too, where it's like, women don't want to argue with men because we know what we need in quotations. Like,

it's a very difficult thing because men will never realize what it takes to carry a child. Like, that is. It's impossible. So, like, we can't ask them to understand that.

But what I'm hoping that we get out of any of this extreme feminism, because a lot of it is extreme, and I don't believe. Not believe, but, like, you know, understand most of it.

But, like, there is a lot of it where it's just like, I, you know, we have to just.

Just be empathetic towards each other. And I think women are just sick of being empathetic. And I think that's a bit of the problem, too.

Mel: Yeah, I think. Yeah. I mean, it goes back to what I said before about choice is I believe in choice, and I believe equality. To me, Is not, I'm making exactly the same amount of money or I'm a boss lawyer and you're a boss lawyer or you're a boss this or whatever,

that's not what it is for me. I think what we should understand and I think the bit that women have lost, and it is pretty much other women's fault, I think, is that we have different roles in relationships.

You can do different things, you have different skill levels and sometimes the woman is the breadwinner in terms of making money. That is more often not the case, but it definitely is the case much more today.

And sometimes the man is a more nurturing man and you know, he has more of a role at home. They're all different. The point I'm making, they're all different combinations of people.

They're all different combinations of relationships. And if you meet somebody, perhaps rather than having these incredibly pre defined ideas about everything, like I'm a woman, I'm 29 or 30 today, therefore that means I have to have this, that and the other, right?

Like maybe think about what you want. The same for a man. What do you want? Do you want and you meet and you together decide where your couple is going, like what it is that you want, right?

Rather than having no, I'm a woman, therefore I am not ironing your shirts. Because that means I'm a 1950s housewife. To me that is completely insane. Like I,

I've said this too many times and you've been in our home many times. My husband does all the cooking because he's very good at it. He's a very, very male man,

but he loves cooking. He finds it very relaxing. So when he's stressed, it's his thing. And he also likes to do it because he feels he's doing something. He likes to make people happy.

So cooking is a thing for him.

But that is the only domestic thing he does in our home. I mean he fixes stuff, but he doesn't use the washing machine, he doesn't iron anything. He doesn't really has never really been in the day to day involvement of our children.

Very much involved in our children's life, but not really in school and you know,

the nitty gritty and day to day stuff, that's been me. But not because he's made me do it, not because I've made him cook, because we've decided these are our skills and we play to those skills.

So in some senses we're very traditional, but in some senses we're not. Like he's Cooking, like most men would be like, well, I don't wanna marry her if she can't cook well, you know,

But I don't have an issue cleaning up. I don't have an issue ironing. I don't have an issue if a bed needs to be made, I make the bed. Or the kids need stuff, I will do it.

But that is an agreement that we've made.

That is my choice and his choice, and it works really well.

And that's the thing I think has been lost. Like, why don't you do what works for you?

Suzie : I think this is what the problem is. It's like we are all. And especially the younger generation because we're always online, just constantly online. Like, we can't get off of it.

And we, like, are just in our little echo chambers.

Mel: Yeah, right.

Suzie : And you. The algorithm keeps feeding you stuff. So that's why we're getting all this kind of insane,

like, just narcissistic feminism happening. And then that's why we're also getting all this, like, extremism, misogyny that's going on. And that's why we're. And because. Because the algorithm keeps pushing us farther away and sending us the same bullshit, and we just keep ******* listening to this, which isn't helping us come together in any sort of,

like, agreement. There's no agreement ever happening anymore.

Mel: That's exactly what's happening. Like, you're. If you're a young man and you start with one point of view, it just keeps feeding you that it's okay.

Suzie : Yes.

Mel: And if you're a young woman, it keeps feeding you that it's okay. And then where we are today is everyone's complaining. And the amount of people that I meet, like, you know, maybe people that I know or children of friends of mine who are around your age, like late 20s,

30s, who cannot ******* meet somebody who are very attractive like you, who have great careers, who are really personable, who have all sorts of skills, but they cannot meet somebody for all sorts of the modern fuckery that goes on.

Like, you know, that they work remotely or whatever. But it goes back to a lot of these things that people just have these really preconceived ideas about stuff rather than just going out, meeting somebody.

If it works, it works. If it doesn't, doesn't. You know, not. And I mean, it does go back to the apps. Like, we know too much. Like, your salary bracket, your job, your car, your house, your.

And you haven't even had a drink with this person.

Suzie : Yeah. And then we can see all of your mutual friends. We know who, you know, we could get all the goss on you.

Mel: Right, right.

Suzie : It's like a scary place to be.

Mel: And I do understand that in one sense is. I think the origins of the dating apps were. Well, surely it's better. It's like a modern matchmaker because you know all the data points and you.

Suzie : Match and there are great things about it. Like. Yeah, so many people that are getting married today are meeting off of hinge.

Mel: Yeah. And I, and I understand that, but there seems to be something going wrong. And you know, for, for us.

Suzie : Yeah. Because that's, that's the way that people only think that they can get married.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : That's the problem.

Mel: And like, you know, for us, for what we're doing in our podcast and what we talk about and the amounts of comments we get and the amounts of comments from men that they say that.

Suzie : Yeah. And thank you guys so much for commenting and trusting us. Like, we love, love, love hearing you guys messages and like just answering you back on comments. A lot of it is Mel, and she is obviously the one who gives the best advice.

So. But yeah, thank you guys so much again, just for commenting.

Mel: No, you're right. And, but it's like discussion. It's so important. And even if I don't or you don't agree with your comment, that doesn't mean I don't want to hear it.

Suzie : Exactly.

Mel: That's the. Yeah. Just because I don't agree with certain points of view about what you might think about women or relationships or whatever, if this is coming from a man, it doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you because I think that's the problem is I don't.

We shouldn't be closing ourself off. If anything, we should be understanding why do men. And we'll say again, young men, because it's perhaps more. Younger men have some of these ideas.

And why the hell do young women have some of these ideas? Because they're clearly at odds and there's clearly a problem. And if you sort of, if you go back to this basic idea that a lot of young men seem to think that women want all this stuff but don't want to give anything in return.

And young women, like I saw. I told you this today, I saw this great post about this young girl, which I'd say she was younger than you, sort of early 20s, saying that a man had said to her, well, you know, why can't you kind of like cook and glean and do stuff for me.

And she's like, look, my grandfather built a house for my grandmother, so she cooked and cleaned. You can't even build me an IKEA shelf. And I thought that was hilarious.

And I okay, some men will look at that and say, oh, you know, *****, feminist, blah, blah, blah. But actually I think it shows the problems from both sides.

Suzie : Exactly.

Mel: So our grandparents maybe understood that each had a role and it wasn't always a tradition, like depended what you fell into. But that to me, the point of today is that we've evolved to allow particularly the grandmothers perhaps to be doing some of the stuff in the home and working and the man doing stuff in the home.

And like, surely we've evolved that we can all kind of make our own choices as to what we do in our own home. Like, the other thing to me is the amount of women.

And I see this a lot, and obviously I'm talking about women, I am A1. Is that the amount of young women with children who are shamed for being stay at home moms or I mean, it doesn't matter if they've got older children.

Like, how about mind your own ******* business. It is very difficult being a parent. All stay at home dads, I'd say the same thing. It is very difficult to be a parent today because being a parent itself is very difficult.

Nothing prepares you for it. And then there's all these other distractions and all the stuff online and everything else. It's very hard. And whatever you have decided in your family unit, whether that is the man stays at home, the woman stays at home, you both work part time, Whatever combination of whatever it is that you do,

that you've decided as a couple that you're doing and work for you, that is nobody's business. Including criticizing women for staying at home, for wanting to look at their children.

Have we all lost our minds? Like, a woman is able to stay at home and look after her children and not send them to daycare. And the man has decided he's happy to make the money.

Although those are traditional roles they've decided. And we're criticizing, like, what in God's name is going on? If that woman has made that choice and that man has made that, that's up to them.

And again,

the revolves could be reversed, right?

Suzie : Absolutely.

Mel: But we've got to point now,

we've got so far away from the original point, which was choice, that we're now criticizing people. And that's the bit I cannot wrap my head around. I cannot, I cannot wrap my head around.

And I can't wrap my head around other women criticizing other women. You know, like, if you choose to have children, don't choose to have children, choose to marry, whatever it is.

Like, everyone's path in life is different. And why are we criticizing that?

Suzie : Here's, here's another thing, okay? And I think women are, women don't really understand. Some women don't really understand how simple minded men can be. And that's not a dig to you guys.

Again, I say it's okay. You have, you have things going on. You have your ***** telling you one thing, your brain telling you another. You gotta make all the money.

You have to eat a million calories because you want to stay big and strong. Like, there's so many things that men have to think about that women, women don't think about as much.

Right? And so we just, we just, we think about so many more things as women and we have confused them in a way as of feminism. Like, we have confused them now that, like, this isn't just about equality or equity for like men and women.

Now, now, you know, there's intersectional feminism, right? Where it's like, okay, wait, hold on, what is that? It's like, oh, it's the feminism between classes and genders and all of this other stuff.

And it's like, I 100% believe in all of the importance and all of that, but there is, you can't have someone believe that this is all so important. And so, like, what do we focus on?

We have no focus anymore. And men are very focused creatures. They like to do one task at a time. They are bad multitaskers. So we cannot give them so many things to focus on.

Give them one goal.

And is that goal modern equity of men and women? You know, you know, men, women are having the babies, so let's let them have their babies and take care of them while they're doing that.

And then if the woman wants to go back to work, she can. Or if she wants to be at home, she should be able to do that and take care of the children.

Like, what is going on with all this other **** that like, is important but should not have to deal with the modern man's, like, mind at all. It's just too much for them.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. And I just think,

I just don't understand why people have to be so judgmental. I mean, I know plenty of women who judged other women for like not going back to work or for cooking or for cleaning or for supporting their husband because he made More money.

Like,

I don't get it. I just don't get it. And that is not helpful at all. And yeah, what you're talking about, even I do think that young women think that as long as you, as they say, empty a man's balls, feed him, you know, he'll be fine.

He'll be fine.

Suzie : Yeah. You're not wrong.

Mel: I'm not wrong. But there is a lot more to that. You need to. Because I think that's the thing that's not, that isn't fair, is that men, strong men out, very alpha men, they support women.

So even though they are dying inside or going through all sorts of **** or dealing or trying to cope with their own personal failures or inhibitions or insecurities or problems or whatever it is, they don't show it.

They believe they have to hold their **** together. Because the woman who's more emotional, for the most part, again, don't come at me for being whatever. They have to support her so they have to be strong so she can be emotional.

Right. Which does happen a lot. But a lot of women don't understand that that's what's going on. Like you're losing your ****, getting emotional. And he's a rock because he's, he's digging, he's hiding it all.

He's not, he's not. Because if he loses his ****, you'll both be losing his ****. And, But I think.

Suzie : And then who's got it together?

Mel: Yeah, but equally men. A lot of men, because we've seen, you know, these kind of comments, is that men don't appreciate that women,

yes, do kind of worry about lots of different things. And I think men think that that's, that they're not focused. It's not that we're not focused. Me, for example, I know exactly what I have to do, but I worry about all the things I have to do because I think,

well, if I don't do them today, then tomorrow is a nightmare. And that I do. And I agree, put my hand up to the,

to the fact that I take on stuff that I don't need to take on, and I don't know why I take it on, but I feel that if I don't, my children won't be happy, my home won't be happy, my husband won't be happy, blah, blah, blah.

But in turn, I'm like most women, probably too emotional, which isn't helpful in some situations.

Suzie : I have never seen you cry, Mel. I would not say that.

Mel: I, I, it takes a lot it takes an awful lot.

Suzie : I know women who are too emotional. That is not you.

Mel: No, I'm not. Yeah. I would say I'm pretty. Got it pretty well in check. And that is a lot to do with, you know, the fact that I'm British and I was raised to keep it all together.

Yeah. And that's not necessarily helpful. No.

Suzie : But it's. Well, on the subject of, like, too emotional women, I mean, men can also be too angry, and that is also an emotion, right?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : Women can maybe be too sad and too overthinking and all these other things. Men, it's. There's some things about.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : Rage. Right. And that's really not good because where are you going to put that energy? That is a huge ball of energy. Are you going to work out? And that's where you're going to put it.

Are you going to. Or are you going to, like, be a little, you know, keyboard warrior and just be angry at all these women online? Like, there is a right way to put that energy and there's definitely a wrong way.

Mel: I think it goes back and I think this would encapsulate all my feelings. Go back to what you said originally, is that you can't take one bad experience, like you've met a woman or several women you've dated and it's been terrible, and then say, the whole of womankind is like this.

Right. In the same way, you can't have, you know, however many bad experiences you have with men and say every single man walking the face of the planet is a beep, beep, beep.

Right. Because the likelihood is you date a certain type and you keep repeating the same pattern and you keep repeating the same mistake. So if you're a man, you keep dating the same kind of woman, which makes you think that all women are like that, which is not true.

And if you're a woman, you keep dating the same kind of man and you keep repeating it. And I think that that, to me, is the biggest lesson, is that stop saying, like, all women are like this.

They're all selfish, they can't focus. They're all highly emotional. They all want their cake and eat it. They all blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that all men are ********.

Rage, blah, blah. It's not true. It just isn't true. We're all different people. And maybe,

yeah, so try and date somebody outside of your type. Maybe that's the answer. And how do you do that in real life? Again, big problem.

Suzie : We're all attracted to who we're attracted to. That's something that's really hard to change.

Mel: Yeah, it is hard to change. And I think this also this thing about a lot of men say that women are only interested in men who make lots and lots of money.

I don't think that's not true. And I don't think all men are interested in who's very attractive. I can't think of anybody, you know, some, you know, certain kind of thing.

Suzie : Some Kim Kardashian type little lady.

Mel: It's not true. It just isn't true. And that we have too many generalizations.

Suzie : That's also the thing. It's like, stop criticizing people for people that are not your type.

Mel: I know.

Suzie : That's what this. It's like when they wear too much makeup. Then don't talk to them.

Mel: Well, exactly. If you don't like.

Suzie : Or them like, who cares? Absolutely.

Mel: If you don't like fake nails and lots of makeup and padded bras and whatever else.

Suzie : Not all women are doing these things. No, it's just some.

Mel: Exactly. Then don't date it. And if you don't like men that are kind of rageful or don't want to pay the check for the date, then don't date them. Yeah, I mean, I, I will.

Next episode. How do you meet them?

Suzie : We got it.

Mel: Yeah. Anyway, that's, that's my little 2 cents worth.

Suzie : It's a complicated situation. Mel and I are really just at the peak of talking about this.

Mel: Really so much to say about this.

Suzie : I know it's, it's tough because it's, it, it's never ending. And it's most of what we get on our socials and that's why we love talking about it because we know you guys want to hear about it and we know you guys are interested in about this and it's.

Yeah, it's a never. It's an ever changing issue is really what it is.

And really we want to hear what you guys have to say more about this.

Mel: Definitely. And I, like I said, even if we don't agree, we want to hear.

Suzie : I think it's better. Let's ******* have more conversations with people we don't agree with because maybe you.

Mel: Change my mind and I'll change your mind.

Suzie : I love that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : I'm so sick of people not talking to people who have the same opinion.

Mel: I know, it's ridiculous.

Suzie : It's like, how do you expect anything to change or it doesn't. It's not gonna happen.

Mel: It just makes the world very one dimensional.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: Don't do that anymore. Guys don't do that. We all have different viewpoints, different opinions, different experiences. And let's face it, your experiences in life lead you often to your opinions and to the way you think.

So maybe if you talk to somebody else and they tell you about their experience, you're like, okay, I never thought about it that way.

Suzie : Exactly.

Mel: So keep chatting.

Suzie : Keep chatting with us guys. We can't wait to chat with you. You can go to Share My Truth Pod on any of our socials or go to sharemytruth.com send us a little email and everything's anonymous if you want it to be.

Yeah, private message us. We can't wait to talk to you. Love ya.

Mel: Till next time. Bye.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruth pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Suzie : 3, 2.Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Suzie: And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie and here's a sweet little friendly reminder to subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it.

You can check us out on all of our socials@sharemytruthpod, on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. You can watch us. Hi.

And don't forget, you can go to sharemytruth.com where you can actually share your own truths with us. Email us, DM us, snail mail us, voicemail us. We want to hear from you.

Hi, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling. It's amazing. Yeah, I love that.

Suzie: Oh, thanks, babe.

Mel: How are you a skill? I'm fabulous.

Suzie: You look. I. You are wearing. If you're watching on YouTube or any of our socials, Mel's looking really just quite bright in your little coral sweater.

Mel: Well, I thought it's a bit sunnier. We can scale down the sweater weather situation. Hmm.

Suzie: Look at.

Mel: So good.

Suzie: Is it a bash?

Mel: It isn't. It's a copy bash.

Suzie: Really. It looks great.

Mel: But it is from Spain. Oh, Spain.

Suzie: Well, lovely.

We have kind of a super,

super kind of weirdy episode because Mel and I have been doing quite a bit of research on this topic because it's very interesting to the two of us because here's the thing about Mel and I, we communicate too much.

Mel: You know, we're like, careful, it goes overboard.

Suzie: Exactly. So the way that we. We just don't know when to shut the **** up. No,

but we understand that that's not exactly what men want or like. Right. Men aren't the best at communicating. And that's not a dig on you guys. It's just kind of the way it is.

You guys are much more visual, silent creatures.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You work with your hands. You don't need to talk to anyone during the day.

Mel: Women ramble on.

Suzie: We ramble on because we do it. We can't stop chatting. We just love it. So we want to know every single little detail that's ever happened.

So we kind of are. Are getting to this little bit of a. What do you call it? I was gonna call it a wormhole, but I don't think that's. That's the actual term.

Rabbit hole. Yes.

About the AI girlfriends.

And just the way that, like, you know how I think Elon Musk just said this? Right? Like he was talking to someone about. Was he talking to Trump about Like, how he's talking to you, but that AI girlfriends, like robots, literally are, like, five years away from going to the US like,

good ones. Like, really, like, really good. Exactly. And like, everyone, you know, we've seen men falling in love with, like, sex dolls. Right. If you've watched any of those crazy, like, you know, I fell in love with my sex doll kind of a show, like, you're.

It's an incredible, like, the fact that these men are in love with these inanimate objects. It's.

It's crazy, but it's. It also makes sense.

Mel: To be fair, it makes quite a lot of sense because women ramble on. We talk nonsense. I mean, I'm often talking and my husband's, like,

looking at me like. And why do I need to.

I'm like. Cause I feel I have to get it out of my brain. I need to get it into the world. And so I'm telling him because he's there, and he's like, no idea what I'm talking about.

Which is hilarious. And I think that's very common. But, yeah. So they don't want. And they don't want somebody nagging. Cause we do nag sometimes. It's very positive nagging. I'm always nagging my husband to do things.

And sometimes it's a good thing,

but it's annoying, obviously. I appreciate that. And so these dolls don't talk back to you, do they?

Suzie: Well, I don't think they talk at all, Mel.

Mel: That's a very good point, I think, to be fair. Although. Is that what Elon Musk is saying, is that they're going to be ones.

Suzie: That can talk, Have a conversation and be like, talk dirty?

Mel: Well, yes. And so you can program them to only talk to you about the things you want to hear.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Which, I mean, I get it.

Suzie: Get it. What if we had mandolls that were programmed for us and they would be like. They'd be like, oh, my God, baby, you look so good today. Even when you look like absolute garbage, I'd be like, thank you, sweetie.

Mel: Well, just like, it's funny.

Suzie: I mean, like, don't worry, I'll do your taxes. Don't worry, I'll pay that bill. Oh, my God. Thank you, honey.

Mel: Just don't get annoyed by you. Yeah. Or, you know, they say, and I saw this thing. I think it's Jordan Peterson who said it, that if your husband isn't the most annoying person, you know, is he your husband?

Right. I say, yes, absolutely. It's true.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And so, yes, a doll that didn't annoy you. I mean, I appreciate I annoy him, but it, but you know, it's not for me.

Suzie: No. And I mean, we like, obviously you're. You have a girlfriend or a wife or a boyfriend or whoever your partner is, you have them for not just sex, you have them for companionship and for love.

Right. To be loved back by someone and you know, doing things for other people makes you feel good. It's just a humanly trait, which is why the world works in a way that it smells supposed to.

And like we're supposed to not, you know, be as greedy. We're supposed to help people out. We're, you know, you're supposed to volunteer like all these things that are made for humans because this is a very humanly thing to do.

We want to help each other out and we want to love,

but that's not exactly what we're seeing happen. And like, also like these AI girlfriends that you're just. And also there's boyfriends out there. But mostly I think our men are dealing with the AI girlfriends online, where you're pretty much just chatting with someone.

Right?

Mel: Well, someone, someone something.

Suzie: Right. A literal bot. It's a robot. And it's because the loneliness epidemic is among us where men are literally just masturbating. And I mean, women are masturbating too, right? Like, women are like, we don't need a man anymore.

We have our vibrator, we can have a job, we have their freedoms. Why do we need men anymore?

Mel: Yes, I think it goes back to. And we've done an episode on this about, you know, misogyny and narcissistic feminism, which is getting a bit intellectual. But it's true, like, women have been going on, we don't need men anymore.

We don't need you for money and we don't need you for sex, and we don't even need you for a baby.

Which is technically true. I mean, you'll be fairly miserable, but it's technically true.

Suzie: Well, if you were asexual, it'd be absolutely perfect.

Mel: It would be.

Suzie: I mean, maybe not because those people like companionship too.

Mel: Yeah, I mean, that's the hole in this is, is the companionship thing. But I think now men are starting to,

we can call it lash out. And this whole girl boss culture that everyone's just like, oh my go, just shut the up. It's like they're sort of saying, well, actually we don't need.

Why would we need a woman? You know, you can Hire somebody. If you don't like cooking and cleaning, that could be anybody. You can hire somebody you take out. You can get takeout.

Suzie: Get a maid.

Mel: You can get a maid standing lady, which could be a woman or cleaning man. Exactly. Before anybody gets excited, you can go to a lady of pleasure.

Suzie: Oh, yes, you can. Or your little rub and tug.

Mel: There are many ways you can do that.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Right. Or you can get yourself some kind of silicone friend.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: You know, you can get yourself all sorts of tools. So men are saying that they don't need women either.

So they've got a point. Because they don't need to have a woman to have a baby. That, like surrogate. I mean, it's kind of worse if.

Suzie: You really want them to have a baby. Although men like.

Mel: But I think it's. It's just this discussion. And then I think, unfortunately the girl boss stuff is all mixed up with this kind of narcissistic female ****. And then the male stuff is very, unfortunately mixed up with all this masculine, toxic, masculine, incel.

Red pill, blue pill ****.

Suzie: Right? Oh, my God.

Mel: Yeah. Which we've seen shows recently, like this amazing Netflix show, Adolescence, which is highlighting something that amazingly like, I've talked to lots of people about it of my age, and they.

They didn't know about it. I'm like, wow, is your head in a hole? Right? And I think the way they portray it, the way like the schools don't know and the police didn't know.

Sorry if. If you haven't watched it, but you should go and watch it, is. Is very true. Like, people are not aware. Because I think, although all these feelings have been around for a long time, you know, where, you know, communities of women or men, you know, sort of raging at each other,

I don't think that's necessarily new. I think what's new is our ability for all these online communities to flourish because there are so many platforms and the more and more time goes on, like, obviously, years ago,

you know, you couldn't. You may have felt like that, but how did you find the other person who felt like that? Well, of course you couldn't. There was no connection.

And now, of course, you can be somebody. Literally, you know, like, this show is set in Liverpool, Manchester, whatever, and you could be talking to somebody in Bangkok, you know.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: Or whatever it is. And so I think that's. That's the big difference. And so I guess men are now saying, well, what do we need women for sex anymore? We don't need them.

Because I think that's also tied into. Well they watch so much more **** because it's so much more available. Yeah. And free and friggin everywhere in every kind of capacity and any possible thing that you want that they're like, it's never going to be as good as that.

Suzie: Well if you think about it, right. Like and nowadays and even in my era, like in your era, in my era,

like let's say you, your first sexual experience is watching ****.

Most likely that especially for men, for boys. Right. That is your first sexual experience. That is you seeing sex, whatever that means for the first time. And most **** out there, if you are not aware that if it's just a story that it's all fake, that's literally acting.

If you don't know and why would like a 10 to 12 year old boy know that this is not how sex actually is? Then this is what that person's gonna think for the rest of their life.

Or like at least for their adolescence and like possibly like their early 20s and whatever until they have started having sexual experiences on their own. So if this is all they know about sex is **** and then that'll focus in on their life and then you know, if, if the women who they want to speak to,

they don't know how to communicate with women now because they're just watching ****. So like they'd think of women as sex objects obviously. And we don't have enough information and teachers don't have enough information and all these other places and parents don't want to talk to their kids about this stuff.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So like how do we even get the education out there where it's like okay, well no, it's like it's not. Women aren't just for sex. We're also for. Because we, we love doing things for other people.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: Just like I said at the beginning of the episode, like we want to do things for other people. We want to help a man, we want to love a man. We want that we are literally biologically like we, we need that we need to have a partner.

But if men are like yeah, we actually don't need a companion.

It's like you don't even know what you're missing out on because you have, you've. You won't go out of your house anymore.

Mel: Yeah. I think you know, particularly like this incel culture stuff is these men who have been or feel they have been, let's put it that way, so like intimidated and put down by women and humiliated and laughed at that it's not A reality.

So it's so painful that they can't have sexual or intimate or whatever, romantic interactions with women because it's, it's been very difficult. And the one thing men hate, whoever the man is, is to be laughed at.

Suzie: Yeah, well, and it's. I don't think it's just women who are like, laughing at men. Right. It's also like other men are like.

Mel: Yeah, like, like normal men are laughing at this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Masculinity. And so they're all. Everyone's sort of laughing and so they, you know, they think, well, what's the point? I'll just. I don't. Why would I go into the pain kind of the real world and be rejected?

Right.

Suzie: So rejection is scary.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Real things are scary. Feelings are scary.

Mel: Yeah. So, I mean, particularly if you are, you know, people have been talking about it so much, not the, whatever, 1%, the top men, whatever they call them, then you're gonna be rejected.

I mean, I would like to say everyone's rejected at some point in their life. I don't care how attractive you are. And I think that is a huge misconception. But again, it's a lot to do with this online stuff.

Cause these communities can flourish and the algorithm, they can just feed each other the same toxic ****, whether they're on the male side or the female side. And, you know, obviously, you know, particularly as we're talking about women here, men have just.

Maybe they're coming to this conclusion, a certain community. Cause it's not fair at all to say that all men are like this. I mean, there's, you know, the majority.

Suzie: Of course, not all men are like this. I'm still dating very nice good men. All women are. Or women who want to date are. Right. Like, yeah, it's not hard to find a good man.

It's just you have to. It takes a little bit of work, like anything.

Mel: Well, it takes leaving your apartment. It takes having some courage to go out into the world and to be knocked back. It takes like, I've said this many times, and I know it's easy for me to say, but it takes going on 100 dates.

If you want to meet one nice guy. Keep going on the dates, keep talking to people, keep making the effort and keep doing it. And it's annoying. But how else are you going to meet somebody isn't like everyone else has done.

Maybe not 100 dates, but you've met and you've, you've gone through this process. I just think it's harder. It is harder now. And I think all the. The kind of weird things, like we're highlighting all these weird things all the time at the moment.

We're talking about tax toxic masculinity, or we're talking about narcissistic women. Like, nobody ever talked about this stuff before. Now we're aware of all these weird things. So that we think everyone's weird.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And they're not. Like, there's plenty of very nice, very lovable human beings out there, but you have to go out there and you have to go and find them. They're not going to like Netflix or Uber Eats turn up at your door.

Suzie: Unfortunately not.

Mel: You have to go out. And I think that's. That we keep always coming back to dating apps, but I think that is one of the problems with dating apps is because you kind of do all the selection sitting in your PJs in the comfort of your home.

You kind of. Then your brain doesn't go to, oh, ****, now I've got to go do something. Yeah. I've actually got to go out there into the world.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it's terrifying and horrible.

Suzie: I remember I sent you something. I think I sent you this today where that was that comedian who was talking about, like, you actually don't have to have compatibilities.

It's not about compatibilities. When you're looking for someone to love or like, marry, it's not about compatibilities. It's about similar hates.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And it's like. Because obviously those are also compatibilities. But, like, if, like, you don't have to like everything that she likes or you don't have to like everything he likes if you don't want to go to, like, I know Mel.

Her husband does not. Like, he goes to sports all the time. And you're like, kill me if I have to go do this.

Mel: Yeah. Right.

Suzie: And you guys don't even watch TV together because you guys watching tv. Which blows my mind.

Mel: We never ever watch TV together.

Suzie: It's insane to me because that's all I do with a person. Like, I love that kind of connection.

Mel: So, like, you know, I love, like, crime dramas and crime drama, even this show, adolescence. My husband Max is a lawyer. And so he picks. And he's also qualified in the uk and he picks out every single thing.

Like, he's talking through the whole thing. They wouldn't do that. We didn't actually sit down to watch it. I was watching it and he started watching it. Cause he knows the actors.

Cause he knows the UK very well. And then he starts going, no, they wouldn't do that. No, the police wouldn't do that. No, lawyers don't do. No, that wouldn't happen.

And I was like, oh, my God, shut up. Up.

We're here for the drama of it. We're here to understand the message.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: But we never watch TV together because he doesn't like fictional stuff. He has to be based and totally rooted in fact. And I do not. Yeah, so I like a story.

Yeah, I like a story. And I do not need commentary. Right. I do not need somebody asking me.

Suzie: Who's the only time you don't want to chat? Mel.

Mel: Exactly. It's the only time. So if you shut me up, put me in front of a show and he watches like these, like he'll sit down and watch Joe Rogan on YouTube Right.

On a plane. Like he's downloaded it for two hours.

Suzie: Like a five hour *******.

Mel: I prefer to poke my eyes out. It's like. So we never watch TV together. So.

Suzie: Do you have similar hates, though?

Mel: Yes, I guess we hate the same.

Suzie: Kind of people generally.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I don't. I don't know what you guys would even hate. You guys are so nice.

Mel: Oh, I don't know what we hate. But, um, we have similar. Well, we don't really have similar interests. He hates shopping.

Suzie: Yeah, I know. You guys literally are not compatible at all, if you really think about it. But that's, I think, what the most confusing part of it is. And that's what we're saying about the apps.

It's like you are, like looking for that person who, like, likes to hike like you do. Likes to go on a bike ride, like, loves to be active and the other person likes to shop.

They like to go on vacation and just sit there. Like there's. You don't have to be the same. You have your friends for that. You have your friends to go golfing with.

You don't have to go golfing with your girlfriend. You just have to take care of each other in, like, loving ways.

Mel: Well, it's too clinical. It's too statistical. And life isn't like that. Yeah. Which, I mean, you know, goes back to this whole thing of the, you know, men, or talking about, you know, we don't need women or women saying we don't need men.

It's, it's, it's bullshit. Because in theory, some of the things that you need or you seek, you can outsource, let's put it that way. But real life, human interaction, like, we're laughing, you Know, just touch even.

Not in a. In an intimate or sexual way, or just having a laugh, sharing a drink, sharing a meal, doing those nice, small things in life.

How do you do that? Maybe you do go out. Do people go out with their sex dolls? Do they go to the restaurant?

Suzie: Okay, no. There was actually.

Mel: No.

Suzie: There was literally a show on Amazon.

Forget what it was called. And it was so funny. And it was with Ray Romano.

He's hilarious, but, like. So it was a show, and he was playing this dad of, like, the main character, girl. And he had a sex doll who was his girlfriend.

And it was the funniest. And he would bring it out to restaurants and stuff like that. It was so funny. But I'm like, yes, this is gonna get normalized. Well, because, like.

But also, like, are you really gonna go out? Like, why are you going out if you're just with your AI girlfriend?

Mel: I.

Suzie: You're like, robot, Robot, maybe. They look so real, though.

Mel: Oh, God. And then we're, like, getting into, like, Star wars territory. I mean, this is, like, really bizarre, like sort of androids or whatever.

Suzie: You know, like, we can't even, like, imagine. But it's gonna happen. Sooner or later. It's gonna happen where they literally look exactly like us and we won't be. Know the difference.

Mel: Yeah. And I think the danger of it is the. The. The seeking of this perfection.

And I think that, you know, we've talked about this a lot because we get a lot of comments all the time about it, about how unhappy a lot of men are at women and how a lot of women are.

Unh.

And I think the root of it is, look, everyone, women aren't perfect. Look, everyone, men aren't perfect. Women aren't perfect.

Suzie: We're not supposed to be.

Mel: We're not supposed to be. And we got this great comment the other day, and this guy, it was really great. And he said that's what he loves about women, is the fact that we do kind of do these stupid, quirky things, like nagging and all the stuff.

And I thought that was a great comment because, yes, that is the point.

The point is, I kind of. You love those things about your male partner or your female partner. Sort of the things that annoy you are kind of the things that you like if you really like the person.

But that's the human quality, is what I'm saying. And, you know, this whole kind of,

you know, whether you're watching **** or you're communicating with some kind of AI messaging thing or whatever it is, or you've got a frigging sex doll, AI robot, whatever the hell it is.

You're in the pursuit of perfection. Yeah. You're not perfect, so why are you looking for perfect?

So, I mean, there's some kind of weird message there that's gone wrong. Like, even all. And I've heard it many times from young women, I'd say sort of a bit younger than you, kind of, you know, I suppose Gen z.

What's that, 28 downwards, 27 down.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Is this like, you know, I don't need a man and I, you know, I.

Suzie: Are they really saying that still?

Mel: Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, that was more millennials girl boss thing. I mean, I think it's changing. I mean, my children, my girls don't feel like that, but maybe that's because of the way they were raised with a father's like a strong father figure who's very present in their life and,

you know, is. Is very.

Suzie: I never thought that I never needed a man, but I have thought I'm like, because I don't know if I do want to get married. Like, who knows, right? Like, so there is that where you're like, I know I'm never.

I don't know if I'm ever going to get married, but I definitely want some kind of a partner or some kind of like, sexual relationship. Yeah, consistently.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But it's totally different than having something online.

Mel: Well, yeah. And I think perhaps the difference with, you know, what you're saying, and maybe generations before, I wouldn't necessarily say Generation X, but, you know, let's say my mother and grandmother's generation is they had to.

Men and women put up with a lot. So, I mean, like, my grandmother was 19. My mom's mom got married to my grandfather when she was 19 because she got pregnant and that was it.

There was no way out. And they ******* hated each other. I've talked about this before. They absolutely detested each other. And what a waste of life that is. Like, she became quite shriveled up, angry kind of person.

And he just had a mistress.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: But I mean,

that's where we differ now. You're not going to. You don't have to settle whether you're a man or a woman. You're gonna be with the person who makes your life better, who adds to it, who.

And doesn't have to be some formulaic thing. Like, you know, if you're a man and your wife makes more money, great. If you're a wife in the. Whatever it is, it's like, it's your thing.

Yeah. And I think society obviously has changed a huge amount. I mean, obviously everyone's still judgmental when.

Suzie: You, like, look at Instagram. Right. Like, and let's say your like, Explore page or whatever you're looking at is like all hot women.

Most of those women are not real.

Mel: No.

Suzie: But people don't realize that. And then it makes the real women feel bad about themselves. And then they're like, oh my God, I have to be perfect to even have a man's attention, or whatever that looks like.

Right. And even though these are like naturally beautiful women, they are now feeling bad about themselves for no reason.

Mel: Yeah. And that's, that's a really good point because most of the, the images, the photos, they're using a filter, at least a filter.

Suzie: And then, you know, they're literally changing their body. Like, it's crazy. You can do for like free on online. Right.

Mel: Like 100%. And we get a lot of comments about this that, you know, if a man. And this was in relation actually to a post that you're in when you're talking about ***** size.

Actually the people looking at. It's a clip, so they don't know that you're. You're reading.

Suzie: People loved talk about ***** size.

Mel: You're reading a story and the story is actually about the man who lied and then sent an unsolicited photo. And then all. A lot of men have piled into our comments going, well, it's just like women and their fake nails and their padded bras and their blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. And you're like,

really? It isn't. And, and to really find that the good aren't. The good answer to that is that I think. And again, you're gonna not like this. But I think generally women are not so hung up on a male's appearance.

Like, men have this idea because so many men have said to us, oh, but if you don't look like this, women aren't interested in you. That's really not true.

Suzie: So not true.

Mel: I think men actually and to cannot be super attractive. And if you have a great sense of humor.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You don't take yourself seriously. You're a nice guy and you either, you know, have some means, you know, as in money, or you have your, your kind of.

Suzie: You're working for something, you have a.

Mel: Little bit of ambition, like, or you're go getter. Then you are such. You're so attractive to women also if.

Suzie: You know how to eat ***** and you're just A good kisser.

Mel: Thank you.

Suzie: So many women.

Mel: Or so many women.

Suzie: So many men and probably who are not good kissers.

Mel: Oh, I know. Well, I don't know because I don't.

Suzie: Know the matter with people that you don't know how to ******* kiss somebody.

Mel: Well, your research is. Is more extensive.

Suzie: My research is extensive.

Mel: Well, I think it's probably, probably selfish really. Probably why. But I. But I think this, you know.

Suzie: Practice.

Mel: Yeah, Practice.

Suzie: I don't give a **** if you're doing it on your hand or in the mirror or you're watching.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Probably not ****, but like if you're watching like romantic movies.

Mel: Yeah. Just, Just, you know, move your.

Suzie: My God.

Mel: Tongue about. But it is this, this, this thing that we were talking about attractiveness. But I do think. And you can all disagree, but from my personal experience, where this is a generalization, obviously is I think that men are far more interested in a woman's physical appearance.

They're so super critical. Yeah.

Suzie: Because they don't actually want to talk to us. Like we just, we were talking about. You know what I mean?

Mel: Like, but they're incredibly critical. Like, you know, you'll see a young woman and, and like, let's say, you know, she's five pounds overweight. They'll. Which is nothing. Ten pounds and they'll zone in on that.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: Or she has. Oh, I don't like this about her. I don't like that about. It's very, very specific. And women. And, and I'm not trying to create a war here, but women don't really.

They're not like that for the most part. Like I said, if you are funny, you're not like, basically. Sorry. But really, really hideous. Which most men, not most people are not most.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, sorry.

Suzie: No, no, no.

Mel: But basically, if you're a nice guy, you're nice. Hygiene.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Grooming, bit of grooming. Not over the top. You're kind, you're kind of projecting like your provider energy or you're going somewhere in life. And again, it doesn't have to be the frigging president of.

It's just like you are. You've got your **** together. Y. Best way of putting it. And you're funny. Like, you don't take yourself seriously.

Suzie: Well, the best example, the best example of this is. Do you know Selena Gomez and Betty Blanco?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: So Benny Blanco I love. He's hilarious.

And he's a music producer and he does all these other things. He's like a online chef guy. And obviously Selena Gomez is Selena Gomez. And you're like, and you're like, what the ****?

But the, the amount of love that they show that they have for each other and like, who knows what's real and what's not. But they just got engaged, so you assume that it's going pretty well.

Like if that guy who obviously has his **** together and is doing so many things that he loves and like he's passionate about, has found a woman like her because they aren't looking at just obviously appearance.

They are so happy to just have each other's company and like make each other laugh.

Mel: Like, agreed.

Suzie: And I have so many of my hot *** girlfriends who do not even really take like good looks, like traditional, traditional good looks into account. And I'm one of those people, I'm like, I don't want a ******* chiseled hot ***, like super like too beautiful of a guy because that's just not what I'm into.

Mel: But that has problems, doesn't it? Well, of course, then you have, then it's like the sun, then it's kind of reflects on you. I don't think that's a good thing either.

I've always thought that.

Suzie: What do you mean?

Mel: Ever been that's ever been a possibility? That if you're with some like, like really chiseled, amazingly beautiful person who obviously does like 55 million hours in the gym, right. And all you want to do is go and have a glass of wine.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: Like it's miserable.

Suzie: No, exactly.

Mel: You've got a bit of like, you know, extra padding around the middle. It looks even worse because he's like this. And I think, you know, but it doesn't work the other way around.

And I think it's really strange that, you know, I think of the many times I've been in like a social interaction and you will probably feel the same. And like somebody introduced a guy, introduced their new girlfriend, the first thing every single man will comment on is a physical appearance.

Whatever she age she is. And the first thing they'll think about because men do this, they can't help is how she is. Right. So.

Suzie: But visual and sexual creatures, it's ****** up.

Mel: But women don't necessarily like analyze. Oh, he's not there. Like your attractiveness as a man is not so much about the exterior. Yeah, it's so interesting.

Suzie: Of course being a hot guy helps getting girls to like. Of course, of course we're not saying that's not the case. Like we're not idiots. But not yet really. But if, but like if you're actually looking for a companion and a partner.

Women do not actually care that much.

Mel: No. And I, I think that's the message we're trying to get across. Like, you know, in all this, in this world where we're becoming aware of all this, let's say toxic behavior from both sides.

Cause I don't wanna, you know, highlight a style.

Suzie: No, it is. Yeah.

Mel: Toxic behavior on both sides.

Suzie: It's both sides.

Mel: We're both ******. Going at each other. And in actual fact, like, there's a real misconception. Like, and it's strange to me and I've said this many times. I know people who are physically incredibly attractive.

But then you know them and you're like. And I actually can't. You can't see it anymore. Yes.

Suzie: And that's the same for women and men. Oh my God.

Mel: You know, people who are not as physically. But their personality is amazing and it does something to the person.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And so the person who has the outside and the inside, I mean, you know, amazing.

Suzie: If there's a guy who's funny who like is on my like level of like humor, instantly I'm horny.

Mel: But it's just so appealing. Like a guy who's funny, who just laughs so much better and it's so much fun. And I can only say this from a. Somebody's been in, you know, a long term relationship for.

Oh God, going on 13 years now. 30 years now is, you know, my husband's funny and I try and be funny. I like to be very funny, a little funny guy.

I like to keep it light and it's fun, you know, when life, life's ******* grim sometimes and dark and it's so appealing. A man who's funny, who's, who's intelligent and funny.

Suzie: Yeah. And you're not harping on about something.

Mel: And you're not going on about yourself. Please don't go on about yourself.

Suzie: Because that do not. And we said this before about dating, stuff like that. But do not go on about like anything about like too hard on your job and. Or like about politics.

Never talk about politics.

Mel: No.

Suzie: Or if they are not really interested in sports, don't talk about sports.

Mel: Please don't.

Suzie: Like if they're not interested. Like, you know what I mean? Unless you're like, first date is like at a sort of a game or something. You're trying to like just, just talk, talk about interests out like of hobbies of like of your family, of, of how you grew up.

Like there's so many more interesting things about you than all of these things that aren't really. That don't define who you are.

Mel: Yeah. And that are not going to get into a. Into an argument.

Suzie: Yeah, let's not get into an argument on the first date. It's probably not the best thing to do to get laid.

Mel: No, it's not a good idea. Oh, maybe it is. I don't know. But. But yeah, I think, you know, we've sort of, as usual, gone off the topic. But,

you know, can men live without women? And in my opinion, no, they can't. And can women.

Suzie: Good luck.

Mel: Yeah. Can women live without men? No, they can't.

Suzie: It was made so different for a reason.

Mel: And please, why can't we just all celebrate how obviously, if you're in a heterosexual relationship,

the union of those two things, if it works, is amazing. You know, women and men, whatever kind of combination of woman and man, you are. And I would say I am like, you are very feminine.

I'm sort of very archetypally on the very girly side of things. And my husband is very archetypally on the male side of things in terms of his personality, the way he deals with stuff.

And so maybe I obviously view the world like that. And there are lots of variations of gray and whatever in the middle of that. But still, fundamentally, men and women are good together.

And we have different skills, not always different. And again, depends on the people. Some men are good at cooking, some women. My husband's good at cook. Some women, you know, it's not set in stone.

But the point is play to your skills. We all have different roles in life. What the **** is wrong with that? Exactly. Why do we all have to be looking for some perfect, totally unrealistic version of a person?

Yeah. Accept your flaws. Accept their flaws. And I always say that the things you actually. That annoy you about a person, especially a mate, are the things you equally probably fell in love with.

They're like that same quality made the nice quality if, you know.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You can't have everything. It's like yin and yang and all that sort of stuff. I love that.

Suzie: Mel?

Mel: No, thanks.

Suzie: And yeah, just guys. Let's just be kinder to each other's genders.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Don't be so judgmental.

Mel: Stop.

Suzie: And that goes for minute. Women, men and women. Same, equally like, you know, we're just being very hard on each other and let's have more. A little bit more understanding.

Mel: Let's get you all together. We want to.

Suzie: Let's get you all together, put you in a room and see how long it takes for you to kill each other.

Mel: We want everyone. Well, exactly. Dating and getting out there and. And happy and stop raging online.

Suzie: God, I see that you can rage at us, though, at Share My Truth Pod.

Mel: Yeah, please do, because I love a discussion.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Like I said, even if I don't agree with you, that's fine.

Suzie: All right, guys. Well, until next time. We shall chat with you soon.

Mel: We will.

Suzie: Thanks for listening.

Mel: Bye.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye.

Suzie: Bye.

Mel: 3, 2, 1. Sa.